Author Topic: The Evil Bread (Read 111156 times)

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #360 on:** September 26, 2006, 05:13:57 PM »

Ultima Shadow punched Hello Kitty in the stomach, and she stepped back, coughing. Suddenly, she unleashed a huge rainbow blast, which caught US and threw him onto a McDonalds.

"Hah, you're doomed now," Hello Kitty smirked.

"It has to end soon," US muttered, getting back up, "this fight's been going on for far too many posts!"

Ultima Shadow picked up a skyscraper, brandishing it wildly. All of the people had left the city, making the perfect battleground for the huge warriors. Hello Kitty also picked up a building, holding it like a sword. Both let out a shout, running towards each other and fighting with swords! Except the swords were buildings!

"Wait," Hello Kitty gasped, "I don't know how to sword fight!"

At that, Ultima Shadow hit Hello Kitty hard with the building. This knocked her out, and she landed on the ground with a huge crash. Both of the warriors then sharnk back to their normal size.

"That's the end of that," US smirked, as the building he was carrying fell next to him, shrouding him in a cloud of dust.

Glorb · « **Reply #361 on:** September 29, 2006, 09:47:39 AM »

Meanwhile, back in Arkansas, or wherever Glorb and the barrel and that thing and stuff were, stuff was happening. Oh, yeah, the fight with the laughing and stuff. Anyway, I forget exactly what happened by the Knights fought the laughing guy, turns out he was a clown with two chainsaws like that boss from Dead Rising, except with a minigun, or something. I wasn't personally there, so I can't really say.
And so the Knights And Masher And An Exploding Barrel Named Bob finally got to the Stargate in the Six Flags of America on Mars. "Man," said Glorb from inside the crazy bucket, "they're putting these amusement parks everywhere!" (rimshot) Hyrulian looked at the map. "Yep, we're here. Let me just get out my...AGH!" It turns out Hyrulians arm was missing.
"My arm! Holy crap! My arm's gone!" Hyrulian looked towards the rest of the Knights. "Masher, Bob, Chef, Glorb, Blue Toad? Why didn't you tell me my arm was missing?!" They all looked at their feet, feeling ashamed. Masher spoke up. "Well, we thought that we could get some extra money by selling your arm..." Hyrulian cut him off. "SELL my ARM?! For how much money? To buy WHAT?!" The Blue Toad pulled out a cool robot arm and handed it to Hyrulian. "We traded your arm and a plastic lady leg at LimbStop for this Terminator arm!" Hyrulian looked at it and put it on. "Hey, cool, it fits nicely! Now let's look for that Stargate..."
Glorb hopped after them. "Hey, wait, what reality are we in? The alternate one? Nothing's making any sense." But as he looked up, everyone except Masher was gone!

The Chef · « **Reply #362 on:** September 29, 2006, 06:14:58 PM »

(Wait, what happened to Mario?)

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #363 on:** September 30, 2006, 08:25:32 PM »

"Ultima Shadow!" yelled a voice from above.

US looked up, surprised. Hovering above him was Ghost Masher!

"So you've returned?" US sneered.

"I never left," GM muttered, "but anyway! I know we're enemies, but the universe is going all weird and freaky and your friends are in danger!"

"O RLY?" the O RLY owl yelled.

"See what I mean? I propose that we become temporary allies." GM said.

US looked around- first at Ghost Masher, then the O RLY owl, then at the mysterious broccoli that had appeared from nowhere. Slowly, he nodded.

"Okay, what do we do about it?" US inquired.

"I dunno, I hoped you were going to tell me." GM exclaimed.

Ultima Shadow made a face that resembled a hyphen followed by an underscore then another hyphen, and then tried to think of a plan. A cunning plan so cunning that he hadn't even thought of it yet!

Three hours later...

"Got a plan?" GM asked.

"No." US replied.

Will Ultima Shadow think of a plan? Are the Knights really in grave danger? Is Mario still in the story? And wheres dezzer? Find out on the next awesomely written story that features the words 'Evil Bread'... The Evil Bread!

The Chef · « **Reply #364 on:** October 01, 2006, 09:13:52 AM »

The Chef: Uh-oh, I sense a disturbance.....

Hyrulean: What's wrong?

The Chef: Well, first Masher, Glorb and TBT sold your arm, then we couldn't figure out what reality we're in, then Mario dissappeared....

Glorb: Mario?

The Chef: Yeah, he and I went to look for......... HOLY ****!!! WE FORGOT THE BLUE TOMATO!!!!!!!

Glorb: Blue Tomato?

The Blue Toad: Yes, TC and Mario went to find in order to fix the damage HK did to our reality...

TC: .....AND WE COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT!!!!!! It's obviously the cause of all the realiy-bending that's gone on in the last few posts!! now......

Masher: ...last few posts?

TC: See what I mean? The fouth wall has been shattered!

Bob: That can't be good....

TC: It isn't, nor is Glorb's memory loss or the O RLY owl in US's last post.....

Captain Obvious: We must find that tomato!!

All: ...

Will the knights find the location of The Blue Tomato? Will Ghost MAsher and Ultima Shadow finally think of a plan? What happened to Mario? Is there some new villain at work here? How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Why did I ask that last question? Find out on the next... *narrator falls into a plothole*

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #365 on:** October 02, 2006, 12:43:37 AM »

"I've thought of a plan," GM laughed.

"Is it a good one?" Ultima Shadow asked, relieved.

"Yes," GM replied.

"Can I hear it?" US inquired.

"Of course," GM said. "First, we have to fix the plot holes, then save the Knights! Simple!"

"..." US yelled.

"How can one yell '...'?" GM laughed.

You weren't meant to hear that. Anyway... Ultima Shadow thought of a plan!

"I've got it!" US roared, "we'll just-"

And, suddenly, a plothole swallowed up Ultima Shadow, spitting up out on a mysterious planet.

"Where am I?" Ultima Shadow gasped.

"How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction."

"What you say?" US yelled, searching for the source of the noise.

"You have no chance to survive make your time," the voices continued.

Suddenly, about a hundred marshmallows descended from the skies, dressed as various Mario characters.

"Ha ha ha ha..." they laughed in unison, preparing to attack.

Will Ultima Shadow defeat the weird marshmallows? (wow, these plot holes are getting weirder) Can the other Knights be saved? And what will happen to Ghost Masher? Find out on the next riveting episode of... 60 Minutes.

Glorb · « **Reply #366 on:** October 05, 2006, 09:05:27 AM »

Ghost Masher leaned on his beef jerkey cane and pondered, "What was that?" Then he looked down. "Why am I leaning on a cane made of beef jerkey?" Disposing of the offending meat, he looked down into the plot hole. It was very deep. Deeper than...something really deep. Yes, even deeper than that. So Ghost Masher whipped out his solid-gold Ninendo DS and called Glorb (with a DS?).
Glorb, still in his crazy bucket, answered on his Logitech wireless NES mouse (huh?). "Glorb speaking. Oh, hi, Ghost Masher. You want to speak to regular Masher? Lemme check..." Glorb surveyed the desolate Mars landscape, only to find nothing but a tumbleweed. "He's not here. Can I take a message? Okay...how do you spell that? P...L...O...T...H...O...L...E. Got it. Bye." Putting away the clapping-monkey alarm clock (I thought it was an NES mouse?), Glorb thought to himself, but out loud.
"How am I going to escape Mars? I guess I'll just have to look around." But his looking around came to a halt as he discovered a UAC testing facility!! Right next to a Six Flags America!

The Chef · « **Reply #367 on:** October 05, 2006, 03:29:36 PM »

TC: Great, now Glorb is lost. You know what, you guys look for Glorb, while I scour this now screwed-up universe for The Blue Tomato.

Hyrulean: OK.

The Blue Toad: Wait! Where's Bob?

Masher: Uh-oh, looks like he fell into a plothole...

TC: We're running out of time! Let's split up and go, now!

Masher101 · « **Reply #368 on:** October 22, 2006, 08:47:36 PM »

*A few hours later, in some weird... area...*

Masher: We've been seaching this screwed up universe for like... forever...

TBT: ... Hey... where did Hyrulean go?

Hyrulean: I'm right here!

TBT & Masher: We can't see you!!

*Hyrulean starts to fade in and out, and starts talking, but extreamly low pitch and slow-mo"

Hyrulean: ()H N03S!! 1 TH1NK TE3 UN1V3RS3 15 F4771NG 4P4R1T

TBT & Masher: ...

*Hyrulean then becomes a pixleated blob*

"Glitch" Hyrulean: heuinf98H(AWH98dh(*HDHW98h98H98Ha(hDIAMSO1773MFESONF98VDDS0VJ

*A giant plot hole apears under TBT, Masher, and "Glitch" Hyrulean*

All: AHHHH!!!!

*All three fall into the plot hole, and end up in Glorbs crazy-bucket*

What will our heros do now? Are they cramped in that barrel? Will Hyrulean ever be cured of his... Glitchyness? And what in the world will happen next?

Ultima Shadow · « **Reply #369 on:** October 23, 2006, 05:43:15 AM »

A small, shiny pink blob person walks onto a stage, clearing his throat.

"Hello, and welcome to the latest episode of... Death Ninja Fighting Halo Plate 2475 Dynasty." the blob announces, in a high voice.

"<3," announce a large crowd of fangirls.

"Indeed," the blob continues, one of his eyes doubling in size until his face looked like an 'O' followed by an underscore and then a zero. "Our first fighter tonight is Ultima Shadow, leader of the Star Hamster team."

From the ceiling dropped Ultima Shadow, dressed in a strange spacesuit emblazoned with a red hamster. He landed on the stage, to the right of the pink blob.

"Star Hamster? What kind of stupid team name is that?" US sighed.

"And our next fighter... Goodbye Puppy," the blob squeaked.

A large puppy with angry red eyes and large teeth drops from the ceiling as well, on the left of the blob.

"Let us see the arena for this battle," the blob said loudly.

A large blue mat descended from the ceiling, accompanied by spiralling smoke.

"Nice effects," the blob commented.

"Thanks," replied Master Chief, who was dressed in the uniform of the Brazilian soccer team and operating the smoke machine.

The mat hit the ground hard, causing an explosion to rock the stage. The blob fell over, before quickly getting up again, only to be laughed at by the spiralling smoke. It was not a mat at all, but a trampoline!

"A trampoline?" US gasped.

"Yes," the blob replied, "and whoever can bounce the lowest does not get the One Ring."

"Hold on!" Wario yelled from the audience, "this is stupid."

"Finally, someone on my side," US said.

"You can't try and get the One Ring without nachos!" Wario roared.

A large bowl of nachos descended from the ceiling, falling on top of the blob.

"..." announced everyone.

"I think it's his fault," Goodbye Puppy pouted, pointing to US.

"Yeah, it is," Master Chief agreed.

A moment of silence fell over the stage, before everyone- the fangirls, Goodbye Puppy, Master Chief, the evil marshmallows, Wario and the nachos began to chase US, who ran off the stage singing the theme song to Shrek... but in Spanish!

"Well, well, well," said Dry Bones, looking down at the situation via TV cameras, "Ultima Shadow's not having the best of luck, is he?"

"Definitely not," agreed Professor Dumbledore.

"Hey, why are we here?" Dry Bones asked.

"Because the universe is exploding into a multitude of plot holes, and nothing makes sense anymore," Dumbledore explained.

"We might be part of the plot holes," Dry Bones frowned, eating a chocolate chip biscuit, "but do we make sense?"

"We are," Dumbledore agreed, "everything is. Nothing is safe. And, no, we don't make sense, because you're not supposed to be able to talk, and I'm not supposed to know what's going on."

"=O," remarked Dry Bones.

Glorb · « **Reply #370 on:** October 23, 2006, 10:18:03 AM »

All this happened as Glorb managed to burst out of the crazy bucket, followed by Hyrulian (who now spoke in Paper Clip), Masher, The Chef and a Slim Jim. However, negative two years had passed in the time it took for them to escape, and so they ended up near the cabin where it all started! The thing is, it was replaced by a slightly dilapidated white house!
Glorb opened the mailbox and took out the leaflet. “Hello sailor!” it read, “You have been recruited to perform in the daily Sailor Moon cosplay session on the moon. Bring your own oxygen.” As Glorb finished the word “oxygen”, the Five (excluding the Slim Jim, who wound up in Yonkers, New York) were transported to the moon, where a bunch of sailors dressed in moon outfits were standing.
“Oh, no no, honey,” said Glorb, “you’ve got it all wrong. Look’s like it’s time for another session of Glorb Eye For The Guy Dressed As A Moon!”

Masher101 · « **Reply #371 on:** October 23, 2006, 03:46:13 PM »

ooc: Sorry if you didn't get the part about The Chef, its his text, thats whats wrong with him.

Masher: I don't realize if this is realy posble and I M' rely computer

Hyrulian: Paperclip!!

*Just then the sailors turned into bannanas... except the third one from the right*

daed os era ew :rehsaM

?tahw :borlG

*Then a plothole apears and spits out a key*

The Chef: ~~At least I have nothing wrong with me...~~

*Another plot hole spits out Mario holding a keyhole, and runs into the key*

Mario: Her-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

*The game freezes*

WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW?

---Restart The Game---
---Kick Your Computer---
---Other?---

The Chef · « **Reply #372 on:** October 23, 2006, 04:51:53 PM »

Rob-Bert: I choose Other, and by other, I mean find the guy who'd been misusing The Blue Tomato!

Bowser: Actually, it was me. I tried to take hold of reality in order to finally crush that pesky plumber! GwaHaHaHa!

Rob-Bert: You can't get away with this!

Bowser: But I already did! Lookee here...

*Bowser steps aside to reveal a machine with The Blue Tomato inside*

Rob-Bert: So that thing is amplifing the Tomato's power?

Bowser: Wha!? How'd ya know!?

Rob-Bert: Lucky guess.

Bowser: Well, as long as I have that machine up and running, I can bend reality however I want!

Rob-Bert: What if I did..... this! *throws eyebrow at the machine's core*

Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The Blue Tomato splits open and an explosion of massive proportions occur. SO massive that all of reality is merged together, Crisis on Infinite Earths-style, thus causing the story to restart on a whole new note.

The New Evil Bread Legend

The Seven Knights of TMK: Glorb, The Blue Toad, Hyrulean, Ultima Shadow, Rob-Bert, Masher, and Super Mario, have formed and must rise against the threat of the Evil Lord Puppernickel and his underbosses: Hello Kitty, The Darkness Hedgehog Team, Pink Glorb and King Bowser, who are plotting to take over the universe with thier army of Evil Breadites.

(OK, I figured that it would best if I reinvented the story. In this variation, I am replaced by Rob and Mario is a part of our team. Puppernickel has returned as main villain and all the other villains are on his team. Just let me now if there are any other villains or characters I left out, OK guys?)

Masher101 · « **Reply #373 on:** October 23, 2006, 05:04:11 PM »

*Camra zooms onto a regular looking house, Goes inside an shows everyone The Chef mentioned playing Super Smash Bros*

Masher: We should... really save the world

Glorb: Nah, lets play a few more rounds

*Hours Pass*

*Everyone except Masher and Mario are asleep*

Masher: Hey Mario, how can you be here, AND in the game?

Mario: . . . . .

*Because of the laws of the universe, Mario randomly explodes, because it's not posible to be in two places at once*

Masher: That stinks

*A title opens with "Mario: The Evil Bread, Too?" and the Mario remix song plays*

Masher: Ooooh! Nice title!

The Chef · « **Reply #374 on:** October 24, 2006, 02:27:01 PM »

(Now that that silly intro is out of the way, I'd like to let you guys know that this version of the story has less random crap and a bit more serious events. I want it to be thrilling. Maybe I should just make a whole new topic for it. Is that a good idea?)