Wario’s rant #3
Waluigi: Wario, why don’t u have a girlfriend?
Wario: Because unlike other multidependand losers, I don’t need the false compliments of the opposite sex to feel good about myself. I am perfectly happy without some woman calling me at 3: 00 in the morning, and telling me everything that she ate that day!
I am independent and perfectly comfortable alone in my bed, instead of with some girl who takes up the entire thing, snores, and sleep talks about chili!
Wario’s rant #4
Wario: Wanna know what annoys me?
Waluigi: What?
Wario: When someone asks me what time it is, and jumps around frantically pointing to his wrist, I mean come on; do I point to my crotch when I have to use the bathroom?
Waluigi: yeah
Wario: Beside the point, anyway, I also hate it when a cop pulls u over, and is like, “ do u have any idea how fast u were going?†and I am like, “well u should know, u frikin pulled me over!â€
And when ppl say that something is new and improved, I am like, which is it, if it is new, that means that there has been nothing like it before, if it is improved, that means that there has been something like it before, they just made it better. Make up ur frikin minds!
And when someone is like, so u want to have ur cake and eat it too? I am like, “well yeah, isn’t the whole point of having cake to frikin eat it, I mean c’mon! What am I supposed to do, eat someone else’s cake, I like cake, ur holding out on me man! I WANT CAKE!!!!!!
And when u r at the movies, and the guy sitting next to u is like “did u see that?†and I am like “ no, I payed 9$ just to stare at the frikin wall, retard!â€