What's the worst videogame you've ever played?

[MushroomJunkie]

Glorb has a point there.....

[BP]

No, Chup got it right. RPGs are named so because the genre came from pen-and-paper RPGs like D&D where you did play more of a role.

Why aren't RPGs games? You play, your decisions and actions determine whether you win or lose, and if you like that, you have fun. All I have to do in, say, Super Mario Bros. 3, is hold the B button and right, press A every so often, and I see some credits at the end. Same basic concept.

[Glorb]

You can boil anything down to its basic actions to make it sound lame.

In shooters, all you do is walk around and shoot people.

In adventure games, all you do is move from place to place and talk to people.

In a court of law, all you do is point at people really hard, yell "Objection", and get a verdict declared.

In forums, all you do is complain, argue, and make video game references.

In life, all you do is exist, carry out various actions, perhaps reproduce, and then die.

etc.

[Chupperson Weird]

Saying they "really aren't games" is totally preposterous. Bird Person covered it already, but seriously what the heck. You think that you can just turn an RPG on and wait a while for the end to come on? Really?

[Glorb]

Not literally. Thing is, most modern RPGs (particularly of Japanese variety) are gut-wrenchingly linear, feature interchangeable plots, and have insanely long cutscenes, with poor storytelling put first and gameplay second.

I strongly advocate keeping games cutscene-free. If you can't find a way to show your plot point during playable gameplay, work around it as much as you can or don't include it. Even if that means having the main character stuck in a locked room, forced to hear various supporting characters mumble about stuff that you either just missed or happened miles away (a.k.a. the Half-Life method), it goes a long way toward immersion.

Seeing your main character do something that directly contradicts your last two hours of in-game heroism to maintain his prewritten "dark and brooding" personality during cutscenes is annoying and reminds you that you're going to do everything exactly as the developers intented. This happens a lot in TWEWY, wherein Neku would do the exact opposite of what you wanted to do regarding characters. Is someone making a genuine attempt to help you? Who cares if they're beneficial, Neku wants to scoff and turn his head and act angsty. Nearby pedestrian talking to themselves about their own inconsequential personal problems? Time to be a good samaritan!

But I ramble. The point is, the player's wishes should come first, not the writers'.

[ShadowBrain]

Seriously, it's getting old. I didn't like anything Cammie Dunaway had to say about the core audience at E3 either but you don't see me about to ramble until I'm a skeleton.

I don't post what I post because I want to make your day. I post what's on my mind, what I believe, and what I want to share with people--which tend to be the primary three reasons any human being attempts to communicate with another. I could lie about myself, like half of everybody on the internet...

I don't play my DS that much anymore, mostly because I'm starting to appreciate the portable factor less and less.

Hopefully, this won't scare you, but I'm with you on that one.

They announced a new Zelda game that's been said to be "accessible" for casual gamers, not "easy enough" for them. You're going to look very stupid if instead of a very easy game, it is tougher than Twilight Princess normally and has an easy mode.

After Phantom Hourglass, that's pretty much an empty statement. It's nothing against you, I don't mean it like that, it's just...

I'm sorry, but I'm freaking tired of it and tired of you. You never say anything good about Nintendo, ever--did you not like Galaxy, Brawl, Twilight Princess, Super Paper Mario? I know you have more Wii games than I do, and are they all as bad as you say?

FOR THE RECORD
What ShadowBrain Thinks of His Wii Games: The Authoritative List

Elebits
Not that bad, really. Of course, the graphics were so-so and it was kinda short, but as launch titles go (especially for the Wii), I was pleased. Loved the clever plot set-up; throwing stuff around (physics were meh, though--is everything made out of thick cardboard, or what?), but not the limitations on later levels/god-awful voiceacting/"cutscenes". Slowdown in some places was mildly irritating but not debilitating. Also, it's not really a big deal, but... who moves all the stuff around in-between missions?

Excite Truck
First off: Bad name. Alright, now that that's out of the way... Actually pretty good. Can't shake the feeling that they were riding on the hype of the then-recently-announced MotorStorm (correct me if I'm wrong here. I may annoy people, but I'll be [darn]ed if I get my facts wrong), but hey. Loading my own music is great (can't fit too many songs on an SD card, though. At least not mine). Killer tricks system/speed; turbo system was frustrating, but in a good way. I liked the graphics when I first saw 'em, but that was after I'd been playing GCN for five years, so who knows if that's an accurate judgment. Deceptively deep, but unfortunately, primarily in the sheer amount of times you have to keep replaying tracks in different ways. On a separate note: Who is "Monster Games", anyway? And when was the last time Nintendo had a launch game not developed by them or a second-partier? And who's in those trucks? They'd have to, like, die or get nosebleeds or something after some of those jumps...

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
For lack of a better adjective... rockin'. I think they overhyped the whole celebrity appearances/boss mode thing, considering there were only three and one was Satan, but there were plenty of great tracks and whatnot, so who cares? Also officially introduced me to "Through the Fire and Flames" and "Talk Dirty to Me", so a few more metaphorical points. Now if only I could play anything besides "Slow Ride" past Medium! (yeah, go ahead and laugh)

Guitar Hero: World Tour
This is an interesting game in that I can't think of a single positive thing to say about it, but it's not bad. The songlist is meh (there's definitely some winners, but it seems like they went a little overboard on "diversifying" the varieties of rock. On a somewhat related note, this and this.), the graphics are crude (not that it matters that much, but still), the product placement was... a bit much (though I should've expected that, considering those KFC ads and that it's the fourth game in an uber-popular series in a genre that's selling like golden hotcakes), and... well, maybe it's just me, but those drums are a pain in the rear and my first guitar was on the fritz and I had to get it replaced--which I will hold against them because a massive amount of people were having problems and RedOctane/the bazillion other people who worked on the game didn't seem to be the most forward in helping. In the end though, character customization is cool, the song creator (though it's apparently limited and complicated) and Freestyle Mode (take that, Wii Music!) are good additions for the young and old, respectively, and downloadable tracks (though they should've been in the last game) are a fine addition for the DLC-starved Wii gamer. After all, it's all about miming rockin' tunes, buying cool stuff with the dough, playing with friends (so much better in this game, though I've yet to assemble anything beyond a guitar/bass duo), and star power... but I refuse to use the button.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
If we were all in a parallel universe where games were still made on individual devices like the old Game & Watches, it would be worth the $250 alone (and would probably have a really sweet gold paint job with a Triforce on the side). I sometimes wish I hadn't played it because it makes almost every other game before and after it look like a weekend rental (keep in mind that this kind of accounts for my animosity towards most other current-gen Nintendo games. That, and it's poignant/indescribably frustrating how they made this game, and then... yeah). Yeah, it's technically a GCN port, but that actually helped it.

Okami
WTDx3 at the IGN watermark on the cover (and the fact that the replacements still haven't arrived), but oh well, but the replacement(s) were very nice. Yeah, another port... but a well-done one of an underappreciated game--I always figured (hey, who didn't?) it would work great on the "Revolution" when it first came out. Very Zelda-esque, indeed--almost unnervingly so (which idea came first: TP or Okami? The world may never know), but with a wonderful art style. Drawing was sometimes a tad irksome, though.

Mario Kart Wii
Oh boy, here we go... Okay, loved the tracks, tricks, graphics, Wii Wheel (doesn't make much sense with the bikes and it's a technically superfluous hunk of plastic, but...) and first console appearance of the Retro Cup. Despised (to the point that I don't play it anymore) the astronomically unbalanced races, which get worse the higher the cc (which is a shame, because I really like going faster than the pokey 50cc speed). Less is more, Nintendo: Adding four more racing slots made this more inviting to "casuals" (and "core gamers", for that matter)... how? Powering up the Blue Shell and adding more luck-based items didn't help either; when people used to say the Mario Kart games relied on luck too much, I scoffed--until this came along. Oh, and stick those lame new characters, the unimaginative name, and the awful cover (only good if you imagine that Miyamoto is a YTMND fan) where the Shine Sprite don't shine.

Mario Party 8
...Well, it's Mario Party, for better or for worse. I actually enjoy this series, but in the same way I enjoy vanilla ice cream and plain bubblegum--it's not bad, it just doesn't stand out at all. I just pretend the lame extra minigames (apparently, even in a game that's all minigames, they had to add a few more--Wii Sports/Play rip-offs, no less) don't exist and it's fine... with family or friends (this is pretty much the only game series I want to play--and feel comfortable doing so--with my parents). Oh, but nice one with lame bars on the side of the screen. 16:9 too much for you?

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Great graphics/art design, for starters. Though it possess most of the stellar qualities of the last two Primes (I can't define them. It's just a... feeling), and with nice new stuff like voice acting, the credits system (but WTD at needing a friend with a Wii/online to get half the stuff) and the use of the ship, it's the weakest of the trilogy. The ending was anticlimatic and it had a far too strong "shooting gallery" feel (though I wasn't too surprised). Also, I know the hint button and downloadable "here's where every hidden thing is" maps are optional, but it still just added to the feeling that my hand was being held all the way. Not bad, no, not at all. Just... well, what, in retrospect, I'd figure a Wii MP would be like. Oh, and the whole Phazon Samus thing just reminded me too much of the Dark Prince in PoP:WW.

Rayman: Raving Rabbids
My brother got this for his birthday, so I can't take the blame for mixed feelings about this one. The fact that it apparently went mid-dev from being another "real" Rayman to one of the first in a long, long, line of Wii minigame-a-thons (by all kinds of companies, not just Ubicrap Ubisoft) is somewhat telling in a depressing way, but so it goes. Obviously, you can beat it in a day or two and the graphics are nothing to stand up and cheer about, but I liked the style--among minigame collections, I can't deny it stands out, especially in the bizzare humor and "Bunny Facts" as the name of every game. Weekend fun, and that's pretty much it.

Rayman: Raving Rabbids 2
One step forward, two steps back with this one. Customizing Rabbids is a fun diversion; the poorly organized selection of four-player-centric (even alone, there's always three empty chairs or stalls or something) minigames are fun-ish, but only a few times around. The mini-Rock Band rip-off minigames are... interesting, I guess. Honestly, the best thing about this game is the FPS stages where you shoot plungers at Rabbids against real backgrounds--cooler still, considering I walked all over the French level in real life a year or two back.

Super Mario Galaxy
Ah, now the real controversy starts! Awesome music, mindblowing gravity physics/level design, and stellar (pun somewhat intended) graphics. The new (old?) linearity took me a while to appreciate (read: I just now sort of appreciate it). The only thing was... that "casualization" just couldn't be ignored. Omnipresent Star Bits, copious 1-Ups, and overly large racing timeframes guarantee that, if you ever see the "Game Over" screen, you probably have a mental condition (25 from Peach when you're Luigi? I know you can refuse, but... man! And where is she getting those, anyway, in Bowser's clutches? That last part's tounge-in-cheek, mind you) The patronizing, WiiCondom-ensheathed remote that pops up in the corner on occasions--the first level, for one--did nothing to help that notion. The ending (which you have to watch four times to completely beat the game--so, yeah, I got tired of it) is confusing, but no big deal. Finally, just stick up for it a bit, I think people complain about Rosalina's storybook too much. It's totally a side-thing and adds some nice, touching depth to the story(?) Not, I repeat, not bad--just something of a letdown.

Super Paper Mario
Great, great, great. Classic Paper Mario humor, cleverness, and substance plus platforming fun. Like TP, half the reason it's good is because it's a GCN holdover. Maybe a tad derivative at times, but definitely in my top Wii games.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl
Ah, the game that's almost as much fun to debate about as it is to play. First off, this thing's deeper than the Marianas Trench--stickers, the SSE (typical HAL-frustrating, but still fun), CDs, "Masterpieces", E3 videos... God, I won't even list it all, but if it weren't for all that nostalgia, I'd probably be playing a PS3 right now. Roster's fine, as far as I'm concerned (but no Geno? That's not an incredibly big deal, mind you... again), but a few stages are somewhat... lacking, though I guess that places more emphasis on fighting. My only beef: Quite a few lame trophies, with the half the gallery amounting to little more than a shill for the crapfest that is/was DK: Barrel Blast and some other games. Also, Pity Smashes.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves
Pretty fun, actually. Granted, there's none of those... well, whatever you want to call the thing where you had to do all the microgames so-and-so many times to get stuff--but who wants to do that on a console at home, anyway? Plenty of great microgames, though anything requiring moving forward/backwards is always a disaster (or is it just me? I normally sit, which makes squats interesting). I wish there were more minigames (hey, in a game full of microgames, those are substantial), though, and the multiplayer modes can't hold a candle to those in Mega Party Games (but that game was designed to be 99% multiplayer, so it's not a gigantic deal). I still pull it out every now and then and play a few rounds.

Wii Play
If real videogames are dress pants, this is a diaper. Tanks and Air Hockey are the best (probably because they're rip-offs of other games), and a couple other ones aren't too awful either, but it's like eating a thickburger or watching Family Guy: Sure, you'll enjoy it on some level, but you'll just feel cheap and hollow inside. The only reason it sold a gazillion copies is because it came with a Wiimote--and Nintendo knows that (but like they'll up and admit it). My brother got it for his birthday, FYI (he kind of regrets asking for it. I tried to warn him...)

Wii Sports
This came with the Wii, so I think it's really hard to talk about this in the same terms as the above. ...Well, what can I say--like everyone else, I got caught up in Wii-mania when I first bought it and... God help me, I was having a heck of a time. Then, like 98% of everyone else who bought a Wii, I put it away after a week or two and haven't touched it since. The sad thing about that game is that, since it's obviously physically impossible to stop people from making a billion baseball/tennis games on the Wii, all of said games seem irrelevant in the face of Wii Sports--which came with the Wii. Seriously, if Wii Baseball is the most complex thing some people's parents can wrap their heads around, why would they be interested in Super Mario Sluggers?

Link's Crossbow Training
Ignoring the fact that this is the first time Link's name has been in the title of a game since Zelda II (or since LttP, if you count the double-entendre. Not that it matters, of course), and that Link has never had a crossbow (though there's now a 100% chance he will in the next game--and, hey, they could work it into the plot! I mean, it's Link's Crossbow Training, right? So he just got a crossbow after the events of TP and he's trying it out. No, I'm serious!), this game is cool. With 27 levels, conjoined in groups of three, it's obviously a pack-in to sell the semi-crappy Zapper (way to encourage more lame lightgun ports/spin-offs, Nintendo. I know some people like House of the Dead, but not I. Especially odd, since I doubt Nintendo will make another game any time soon to support it... actually, you know what, that's not odd. But now I want Yoshi's Safari 2!), but for $20, it's a surprisingly good deal. Granted, I get a light "cheap" feeling like I discussed earlier (did there really need to be target-shooting in Wii Play and this? And Smooth Moves, and...), but I've played worse.

Any questions?

[Chupperson Weird]

Not literally. Thing is, most modern RPGs (particularly of Japanese variety) are gut-wrenchingly linear, feature interchangeable plots, and have insanely long cutscenes, with poor storytelling put first and gameplay second.

Well the problem there is that playing any old generic game of any genre is going to be lame and bland. You can't say this is a problem exclusive to RPGs. If you know what are good games, I don't see the problem here. And don't act like they all have "poor storytelling".
Second, if the game itself is fun, the story can be less than stellar. I will play Final Fantasy games because the games (battle systems in particular) are fun, and that's that. Baten Kaitos battles are also immensely fun.
Also, I really disagree that the player should come before the writer, especially when you're talking about games where Masato Kato is involved. If the guy who wrote the story has a vision, then the game should play out according to that. There are some games I will play for the story regardless whether it's the most fun battle system of the decade or not.

[BP]

Assessing all of that and not counting the possibility that I might enjoy Brawl more than you enjoy all video games altogether, I'd say you logically like the Wii more than I do! I mean, it even sounds like you like Link's Crossbow Training for the game--I bought it in case a good Zapper game came out.

As for Mario Kart, I agree, it's only really fun with around five players over Wi-Fi. More, it's a mess of frustration. Fewer, it's time trials many people play at the same time.

[The Chef]

Also, I really disagree that the player should come before the writer, especially when you're talking about games where Masato Kato is involved. If the guy who wrote the story has a vision, then the game should play out according to that. There are some games I will play for the story regardless whether it's the most fun battle system of the decade or not.

You forgot the part where they're supposed to be games, not books or movies.

Quite a few lame trophies, with the half the gallery amounting to little more than a shill for the crapfest that is/was DK: Barrel Blast and some other games.

I noticed that it isn't on your list. Have you played it? If not, how do you know it's such a crapfest?

[Glorb]

DK:BB was pure hatred and despair under the guise of electronic entertaiment.

[Chupperson Weird]

Well Chef, you obviously play games for a different reason than I do. And good job disregarding the rest of my post where I already addressed the one thing you used as a rebuttal.

[Zarkanthesmasher]

Ah, now the real controversy starts! Awesome music, mindblowing gravity physics/level design, and stellar (pun somewhat intended) graphics. The new (old?) linearity took me a while to appreciate (read: I just now sort of appreciate it). The only thing was... that "casualization" just couldn't be ignored. Omnipresent Star Bits, copious 1-Ups, and overly large racing timeframes guarantee that, if you ever see the "Game Over" screen, you probably have a mental condition (25 from Peach when you're Luigi? I know you can refuse, but... man! And where is she getting those, anyway, in Bowser's clutches? That last part's tounge-in-cheek, mind you) The patronizing, WiiCondom-ensheathed remote that pops up in the corner on occasions--the first level, for one--did nothing to help that notion. The ending (which you have to watch four times to completely beat the game--so, yeah, I got tired of it) is confusing, but no big deal. Finally, just stick up for it a bit, I think people complain about Rosalina's storybook too much. It's totally a side-thing and adds some nice, touching depth to the story(?) Not, I repeat, not bad--just something of a letdown.

Except, that seeing the Game Over screen in the modern Mario Mario games isn't really penalizing at all, so it isn't as much a sign of difficulty as it was in the early mario games. In Super Mario 64, you saved after beating each star, so getting a Game Over only meant you'd have to start the level over - which isn't a big deal usually. Yes, you don't see that screen really at all in Galaxy, but since the levels aren't exceedingly long in either game, it doesn't really make much of a difference.

[MaxVance]

The quote button exists for a reason. Please use it.

Anyway, what you mentioned would be another example of "casualization," as ShadowBrain mentioned. Or it may just be a reflection of how most games these days are easier than games from the 1980s.

[The Chef]

I'd say they're easier because of casualization.

DK:BB was pure hatred and despair under the guise of electronic entertaiment.

Your face is pure hatred and despair under the guise of electronic entertainment.

Well Chef, you obviously play games for a different reason than I do. And good job disregarding the rest of my post where I already addressed the one thing you used as a rebuttal.

Alright, alright. I apologize for that. Even I get lost in a game's atmosphere. After all, I'm the only one here who still cares about the characterization of certain obscure Mario characters.

[Chupperson Weird]

Games aren't just easier because of casualization. We're better at them than we used to be.