Author Topic: Transformers: Less Than Meets the Eye (Read 6804 times)

Turtlekid1 · « **on:** June 29, 2009, 12:20:42 PM »

Transformers 2 is getting some pretty bad reviews right now; apparently the humor is overflowing with lame innuendos, the writing sucks, and the characters are annoying.

Has anyone seen it? Is it really as bad as all that?

If so, are there any redeeming qualities?

And how did the sequel sink so far below the first movie? Usually it takes at least two sequels to become that bad.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #1 on:** June 29, 2009, 12:44:30 PM »

The first one already seemed pretty low to me...

No, I haven't seen this one, but it definitely looks like it's way less than meets the eye (which isn't much).

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #2 on:** June 29, 2009, 12:52:29 PM »

Don't even bother seeing it and wasting your money if it has reviews like this. Otherwise you're just fueling a less than deserving movie's gross.

No, I have not seen it. No, I don't plan to. The previews are bad enough.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #3 on:** June 29, 2009, 01:14:42 PM »

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is better than Transformers in almost every conceivable way. I was only mildly entertained by the first one, but the second one was much much awesomer and more fun. It is not excellent filmmaking by any stretch of the imagination but it is a fun movie to watch. Don't listen to the reviews; they don't know what they're talking about.
There are still some jokes that make it clear that Michael Bay is 12 years old, unfortunately.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #4 on:** June 29, 2009, 01:35:06 PM »

Now that we've got two Transformers movies and a G.I. Joe one on the way, I'm just holding out for the Hot Wheels high-stakes racing flick and the Sex and the City clone that will be the Barbie movie.

Reading · « **Reply #5 on:** June 29, 2009, 01:46:44 PM »

It's getting bad reviews? Gee, really goes to show how much I (don't) pay attention to the media. I thought it would be getting good reviews after I saw it.

Yes, there are some pretty unnecessary raunchy jokes, and a little too much swearing for my tastes, but if you can tune all that out, it's a great movie, in my opinion. It gets more tolerable after the first half. I would recommend seeing it.

Plus, obviously, it has giant robots beating each other up. It would take some very bad writing to negate that sheer awesome factor in my book.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #6 on:** June 29, 2009, 01:48:01 PM »

Brian, those are Mattel properties, not Hasbro.
Plus Transformers and G.I. Joe have a semblance of story to work with already.

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #7 on:** June 29, 2009, 02:40:38 PM »

Thread Recap

3 people have not seen the movie and all say it's bad.

2 people have seen the movie and all say it's good.

superstarMASIAH · « **Reply #8 on:** June 29, 2009, 03:21:50 PM »

I liked the GI Joe cartoon better anyways...

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #9 on:** June 29, 2009, 03:48:39 PM »

Quote from: Chupperson Weird on June 29, 2009, 01:48:01 PM

those are Mattel properties, not Hasbro.

I wasn't really intending for them to be any particular property.

Quote from: Lizard Dude on June 29, 2009, 02:40:38 PM

Thread Recap

3 people have not seen the movie and all say it's bad.

2 people have seen the movie and all say it's good.

And 1 person is implying...?

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #10 on:** June 29, 2009, 04:35:13 PM »

You shouldn't rely on reviews.

PaperLuigi · « **Reply #11 on:** June 29, 2009, 04:37:59 PM »

Quote from: Lizard Dude on June 29, 2009, 02:40:38 PM

3 people have not seen the movie and all say it's bad.

2 people have seen the movie and all say it's good.

2 people is not an accurate statistical sample. ;)

Lizard Dude · « **Reply #12 on:** June 29, 2009, 04:42:56 PM »

You're right. Everyone carry on bashing a movie you have not seen.

Turtlekid1 · « **Reply #13 on:** June 29, 2009, 04:46:46 PM »

For the record, I haven't bashed or praised it yet.

Captain Jim · « **Reply #14 on:** June 29, 2009, 06:50:10 PM »

No one I've talked to has called it bad. They've just said that it's like a seven-year-old smashing his action figures together for an hour and a half, then making softcore porn with his sister's Barbie and Ken for another half hour.

Their biggest gripe is they said it feels like they made up the plot as they went along.

SolidShroom · « **Reply #15 on:** June 29, 2009, 07:39:22 PM »

Glorb · « **Reply #16 on:** June 29, 2009, 08:31:56 PM »

Transformers 2 sucks as a movie and as a sequel, though as CG action robot porn, it's awesome. To wit:

Jetfire is an ancient British old-man Transformer with a robo-beard and giant walking stick. When he dies, Prime absorbs his jet pieces onto his body to fight whoever the final bad guy was, and then casually shrugs off Jetfire's weaponry and lets it crumple on the ground.

Roughly 70% of all the robots in the movie are unnamed throwaway characters. Most of these are never seen to transform.

The majority of jokes involve dogs humping each other, robots humping Megan Fox's leg, Shia LeBeof getting humped by a mega hot girl and being all awkward about it, and Shia LeBeof's parents humping each other.

I have no clue who the actual big bad guy was supposed to be. I don't think the writers did, either.

Skids and Mudflap act like racist blackface minstrel-show caricatures. They are also the most interesting characters in the entire film.

The logistics of a Decipticon perfectly imitating a human are never elaborated on. In fact, that plot point gets pretty much abandonded after Michael Bay realizes he can't milk any more sexiness out of an emotionless ladybot.

At one point the protagonists appear in Egypt with about half a line of dialogue explaining how and why they appeared there.

Transformers Egypt is functionally identical to the Middle Eastern country in the first film.

Grimlock wasn't anywhere in the entire film.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #17 on:** June 29, 2009, 09:18:23 PM »

If I can't rely on reviews, other people's opinions, or advertisements, then what the hell am I supposed to do? Literally watch every single movie that comes out? I not completely Roger Ebert here.

I mean really, "I think..." is generally implied before "____ looks bad". Either we should never discuss something unless everyone involved in the discussion has experienced it or some people need to realize that it is possible to pose assumptions without being a hater.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #18 on:** June 29, 2009, 10:45:48 PM »

Roger Ebert can't even understand what's going on in action movies. He doesn't listen to any expository dialogue.

Glorb: Emotionless ladybot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretenders_(Transformers)
Big bad buy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fallen_(Transformers) unless you mean they couldn't decide between him and Megatron.

Plus, most of the Transformers in the film were actually previously conceived and more of them got named than you think.
The place where most of the fighting happens is the same place as the one at the beginning of the first movie. Scorponok was hiding under the desert for two years.
Maybe they'll have Dinobots in the next movie.
Maybe you're like Roger Ebert and can't pay attention to dialogue explaining how and why they teleported.

Glorb · « **Reply #19 on:** June 30, 2009, 06:42:14 AM »

It happened like this:

Jetfire: Let's go!
(blorp)
Everyone: Holy [dukar] we're in Egypt what the hell
Jetfire: Let's go kill some expendable dudes who have never appeared in the film up until now, as well as minor characters from the first film now reduced to very tiny parts with no dialogue!

Maybe I'm a normal member of the general movigoing public and think the writers came up with a crappy script.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #20 on:** June 30, 2009, 06:53:01 PM »

wait, you people actually went out and paid to see this overblown mess?

This is far more depressing than the fact that DragonBall Evolution is getting a sequel.

ShadowBrain · « **Reply #21 on:** June 30, 2009, 07:30:30 PM »

^ oh kill me

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/smg-transformers-10-questions.html
http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/transformers39-worstreviewed-400-million-hit-ap

Don't shoot the messenger.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #22 on:** June 30, 2009, 07:52:35 PM »

I think Mr. Wiggles just hates movies. And I'm a person that doesn't like them, even.

Jman · « **Reply #23 on:** July 01, 2009, 08:10:54 PM »

I think this film was much, much better than Dragonball Evolution. The best way to teach a kid about that movie is to have them watch through the original series, and then the movie.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #24 on:** July 01, 2009, 08:39:35 PM »

Just because it's only loosely based on the original doesn't keep it from being a fun stand-alone work. If you apply the same logic to Transformers, you should hate it too.

Jman · « **Reply #25 on:** July 01, 2009, 08:42:48 PM »

Quote from: Chupperson Weird on July 01, 2009, 08:39:35 PM

Just because it's only loosely based on the original doesn't keep it from being a fun stand-alone work. If you apply the same logic to Transformers, you should hate it too.

Yeah, I'll give it that, Chup. It could have been a good original movie.

Mr. Wiggles · « **Reply #26 on:** July 02, 2009, 03:30:56 AM »

I like good movies.

Neither of those two films I mentioned should ever be considered good.

I'd also like to mention I actually enjoyed the first Transformers. It certainly suceeded in the sense that it wasn't pandering to both casual fans and fanboys and failing hard at pleasing either.