Maybe we'll all feel better if everything somehow ties together. How about this: Long ago, there was a love triangle between Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Billy Mays. One day, unprovoked but plenty angry, Mays lashed out at Jackson with a blast of OxiClean, bleaching the latter's skin. Jackson was furious, but bided his time for many years, finally retaliating when he sabotaged Mays' plane last Wednesday. Exhausted from the effort, Jackson swiftly succumbed to a heart attack.
Meanwhile, Ed McMahon stood by and watched.