Greed With Envy
Art: JJ McCullough
Full name: Wario
Height: 4'11" (about 150cm)
Weight: 190 lbs.
Home: Wario Castle, Kitchen Island
First appearance: Super Mario Land 2
Last appeared in: Mario Golf
"Obey Wario, destroy Mario!"
Little is known about Wario, other than the fact that he and Mario were
friends in childhood. Mario has mentioned in the past (Super Mario Land 2) that Wario has always been envious of his fame, but we really don't know anything else
about Wario's early years.
In 1992, Wario appeared out of nowhere to take control of Mario Land... a
strange little island where Mario ruled as king. Aside from the fact that
this island appears on no known maps, the whole escapade went as expected.
Mario thrashed Wario, who ran off, crying like a baby.
Just about one year later, Wario was "practicing being mean" when he heard
that the Brown Sugar Pirates had swiped a gigantic, solid gold statue of
Princess Toadstool. Moved by neither compassion nor valor, Wario went off
to steal the statue back so that he could ransom it to Mario and the
Princess for enough cash to buy his own castle, having lost Mario's. Wario
wasn't fazed at all when he discovered that the dreaded Captain Syrup was a
beautiful lady... even after the aforementioned captain sent a large genie
after Wario. Naturally, Wario used his brute strength to thrash the
genie... the Captain blew up the tower that served as pirate headquarters,
revealing the giant golden statue that the tower was built
upon. Reasonable people might question the possibility of the Brown Sugar
Pirates—inept little mutant Goombas with arms—building a huge mountain
over the statue they stole less than a week before, but not Wario. As
Wario was dancing a greedy little shuffle, our friend Mario appeared in the
Sky Pop, waved cheerfully to Wario, and stole the statue back. Naturally,
Wario simply grabbed the discarded Genie's lamp and wished himself a giant
castle... and paid for it with the loot he swiped from the pirates. Thus
ends Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3.
In the next few years, Wario annoyed Toad in a patch of woods (see Wario's Woods) and tossed buckets over the heads of Mario, Yoshi, and Princess
Toadstool (see Mario & Wario). However, Wario seemed to change a bit... going from a maniacal, crazed villian to a maniacal, crazed bully. In the
Virtual Boy Wario Land, Wario seemed motivated by a simple desire to escape from the underground pit he was trapped in (after smashing several innocent-looking demon-masked Gooms in order to swipe their gold).
Somehow, Wario muscled his way into "The Group." He began driving go karts
in Mario Kart 64. He became a human playing piece in Mario Party. Wario
threw clubs at Toad in Mario Golf. On the venerable Game Boy, Wario even
saw fit to beat up Bomberman and fight Captain Syrup once again (this time,
the Pirates took Wario's gold and nice new castle... Wario returned the
favor by beating up Captain Syrup. Wario's no gentleman). All in all,
Wario seems to have firmly established himself as the greed-driven maniacal
egotistical bully making Mario's life miserable...
Written by David Dayton.