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Author Topic: Your Favorite Joke  (Read 86438 times)

« Reply #75 on: April 03, 2008, 04:55:22 PM »
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and says "I'll have a martini." The bartender asks him "Olive, or twist?"

missingno

  • ▄█ 'M ▓▒
« Reply #76 on: April 03, 2008, 06:07:10 PM »
lol Dickens
Ditto used Machop!

« Reply #77 on: April 04, 2008, 09:19:17 PM »
Nice pun BTW. anywho, here's mine.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."
"Follow me down to the valley below You know
Moonlight is bleeding from out of your soul Come to us, Lazarus It's time for you to go"

Suffix

  • Steamed
« Reply #78 on: April 04, 2008, 09:21:34 PM »
Ah hahaha, I remember hearing that one before! That is indeed a good one.

I should have told that one at my stupid Student Computing Services interview.

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #79 on: April 05, 2008, 10:09:31 AM »
There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.

The first man in line started telling his story, "Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn''t find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips. So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him. Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am."

The next man came up and started his story. "St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''Please God spare my life'' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me. I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I''m here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me."

It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. "Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick''s refrigerator....."
every

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #80 on: April 05, 2008, 03:41:32 PM »
How ironict that this should appear at the top of the page!

Clean Christian Jokes
Find the best good humor
cartoons, jokes, stories & more
at Crosswalk!
www.Crosswalk.com
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

« Reply #81 on: April 05, 2008, 04:33:14 PM »
I'm a member of Crosswalk's forum board actually.
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

BP

  • Beside Pacific
« Reply #82 on: April 05, 2008, 05:25:14 PM »
1. COINCIDENTAL. NOT IRONIC. The word has been misused for far too long.
2. Not really, even. The ads match up with the page's content.
All your dreeeeeeams begiiin to shatterrrrrr~
It's YOUR problem!

« Reply #83 on: April 05, 2008, 07:03:15 PM »
Why was the bug tap-dancing on the jar?
The lid said "Twist to open"

Why did the Koopa stare at the orange juice carton?
The carton said "concentrate"

Yes, I changed the wording in that last joke so that no non-ficitonal characters become offended.
Kinopio is the ultimate video game character! Who else can drive a kart, host parties, play tennis, give good advice and items, and is almost always happy??

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #84 on: April 06, 2008, 07:43:01 AM »
Clean Christian Jokes

Two men walk into a bar and order a non-alcoholic drink, then leave a $5 tip before leaving.
every

« Reply #85 on: April 06, 2008, 01:03:17 PM »
What are Mario's overalls made of?
Denim, denim, denim. (say it out loud and you'll get it)
"If they make greeting cards to thank people for helping with evil plans, I owe you one!" ~Dimentio, Super Paper Mario

« Reply #86 on: April 06, 2008, 01:57:16 PM »
I said it out loud twice and still didn't get it.

I have a feeling it wouldn't be that funny if I did.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

« Reply #87 on: April 06, 2008, 02:05:12 PM »
1. COINCIDENTAL. NOT IRONIC. The word has been misused for far too long.
2. Not really, even. The ads match up with the page's content.
If you consider Glorb's heaven joke dirty, then the situation could be considered ironic when you take your point 2 into account!

-LD

« Reply #88 on: April 06, 2008, 02:29:50 PM »
I said it out loud twice and still didn't get it.

Say it really fast and it sounds like the underground theme to Super Mario Bros.

You know. "Da na da na da na."
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

« Reply #89 on: April 06, 2008, 02:37:44 PM »
Exactly! XD
"If they make greeting cards to thank people for helping with evil plans, I owe you one!" ~Dimentio, Super Paper Mario

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