Here's a load of my favorite Mario quotes...
Mario Quotes
"Life is a game, kid! It all depends on how you play!"
"Hey, maybe we'll see you on PBS!"
"Ah, worthless Koopa junk!"
"Tea hea... I mean, tee hee!"
"Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?"
"Sorry we can't stay and chat with you goons, but we have a race to win!"
"Hey, King Koopa! You can at least say goodbye!"
"Get back here, Koopa! Dontcha know vegetables are good for you?"
"Thank you so much for to playing my game-a."
"Catfish pizza? This may be a first, but I'm not hungry!"
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."
"C'mon Luigi, let's see what this kurnsie can earnsie!"
"EVERYBODY HAS TAP WATER!"
"Now go home and eat some vegetables, Dr. Mario's orders!"
"Oops. I meant to do that."
"C'mon, I'll help you sink your teeth into some delicious Koopameat."
"CAESAR MARIO!"
"Can't we discuss this man-to-Mouser? ...I guess not."
"C'mon fellas! Fighting won't solve anything! The color you are doesn't matter!"
"We'll take the Star Path and start looking for the cave-people at Koopa's Neon Castle. This could be a Koopa-tastrophie!"
"Nice try, Koopa, but it's gonna take a lot more than a silly party hat to make me... Koop-masters, your wish is my command."
"Kooky, give ol' Koopa a Koop where it counts!"
"Big Mouth with his mouth shut - now THAT's something to cheer about!"
"Whoops! I just invented the tossed salad!"
"I wish Luigi were here, I could blame him!"
"Uh, excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him!"
"We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!"
"Hey, shaddupa your face!"
"Giddyup, chowhound!"
"Oh, no! The Princess is being forced to listen to a debate by two Fryguys about the names for the little things on the end of your shoelaces!"
"Stay away, you guys. I overslept, and I have to save the Princess!"
"When the going gets tough, the tough read Dirk Drain-Head!"
"No woman can resist the charm of a Mario."
"Don't worry, Princess, we'll find little Oogtar soon - it's almost past his bedtime!"
"EAT CAKE, SHELL SCUM!"
"Get your grimy meat hooks off of my mag, Luigi!"
"You better get a lawyer or get us out of this chicken coop!"
"What my brother is trying to say, is he doesn't know what to say."
"Mamma mia! The cruel meatball of war has-a rolled onto our laps, and-a ruined our white pants of peace."
"A Mario Brother never says 'can't', Luigi!"
"No more clowning around, Koopa! You're KOO-PUT!"
Luigi Quotes
"I wanna be a great plumber like my brother Mario."
"He's too busy eatin', Mario. He's your kind of horse."
(to Mario and Wario) "You guys are so juvenile!"
"Okay, Mario. One all ya got, coming up!"
"Poor dinosaur, he doesn't know the indigestion he's in for!"
"I think I liked it better when WE outnumbered THEM."
"Hey Mario, look! I grew an inch!"
"What? Stay home and take care of the house? Man, that's not exciting at all!"
"Mr. Koopa Koot wants my autograph? Me? I guess I'm a little bit of a celebrity after all."
"Look at all that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over 100 bucks!"
(talking about Aladdin's lamp) "So what's all the magic mumbo-jumbo about? What are you gonna do, pull a rabbit out of it?!"
"There, that oughta hold those fish-brained foes. Now to rescue Mario!"
"Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!"
"Yeesh, what a mess! Am I glad I don't live here."
"NOOO! Shutup!"
"Hey, thirty-love, Princess! That Fire Plant serving machine sure was a good idea!"
"Give up, Mario, she's whooping you bad!"
"Yeesh, forget it, Mario, it's outside!"
"So much dust. This will never pass the white glove test."
"That's a mirage, your royal nincompoopship!"
"Actually, I had planned on spending the afternoon flossing my teeth."
"I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're goin'."
"YIKES! Now we're ALL gun-duelers!"
"Way to go, Mario! You sure cooked his casserole!"
Peach Quotes
"Thank you, but our princess is in another castle... Just kidding."
"Leaping lugnuts, Toadman! Look at the size of those pipes!"
"Why didn't Koopa invent vitamins first and fast food second?"
"You traded our chest full of coins for this? Shame on you!"
"I'm sending you where the pecking's good. You can be free-range Chickadactyls from now on."
"There! That's the last of those grimy green good-for-nothings!"
"Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?"
"I just hope Mario isn't going into any sewers - he's wearing my good dress!"
"Koopa finally gave everyone a show worth watching!"
"'Yeeeeks'!? What kind of word is that?"
"WHAT?! This is dreadful news! Awful! Horrible!... Isn't it?"
"Now that's one for the scrapbook!"
"Look! A Samus doll! It's SOOOO cute!"
"Hey, guys! I think my rug has the hiccups--What the--!!!"
Toad Quotes
"Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle!"
"I carried all I could! Now what do you need?"
"Who didja expect? Pee Wee Herman?"
"Relax, Sal, you know what dey say: 'Old plumbers never fry'!"
"A Goomba's bark is worse than its bite."
"I hate morning people."
"Never trust a Koopa unless ya check up on him!"
"You know, some people use something called a DOOR."
"I dreamed that Mario was dreaming that he couldn't get past World One. Boy, was he clumsy! It was funny. I mean, as soon as Mario tried to do anything, he got bonked and found himself back in bed! What a maroon! One time he jumped right off the waterfall! The ShyGuys were having snacks and coffee while boinking him! But he was dreaming--I mean I was dreaming he was dreaming, and... hello? Hello? Well, that's the last time I wake up out of a sound sleep for royalty!"
Yoshi Quotes
"Yoshi my name, crusing my game!"
"OK, I ready to order. Four coconut shakes, six order papaya fries, and eight Egg Scoopa Koopas!"
"Yoshi hear Oogtar too good!! Huh, who need telephone?!"
Bowser Quotes
"Welcome. No one's home! Now scram--and don't come back!"
"Who were you expecting? The Tooth Fairy?"
"This is gonna be excellent!"
"He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!"
"PTEWWW!! What is this?!!!! I didn't order Koopa Kola Plain--I wanted Koopa Kola Crunchy!!!"
"Scram, pests, or I'll call an exterminator!!"
"Koopa Sez, everybody go to the Dome Castle, and get Mario and Luigi, and bring them to me!"
"Stand still so I can squash ya, you little vermin!"
"If Mario doesn't find these Star things, I'll have the princess, but I can forget about my castle... Can you run that past me again?
"Me, nice? I've never been nice in my life! I'm allergic to nice!"
"The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me."
"If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me."
"I haven't done anything really rotten in a long time, not since yesterday."
"Last one into the cave is a goodie-goodie!"
"No one asks for a trap faster than a plumber!"
"Don't interrupt me, not while I'm boasting and gloating!"
"OK, that does it! You're ALL gonna be Koopatized!"
"There'll be other crooked races, and other ways to cheat!"
"Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!"
"Stop wisecrackin', mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!"
"I pledge allegiance to Kootie Pie and the repulsiveness for which she stands..."
"Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Pincess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do."
"This is easier than talking Kootie Pie into a shopping spree!"
"All right! Come and get your burgers!"
"We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game."
"NO!!! It's a chain reaction!!"
"We never would've lost if you Koopaling clowns had just tried to wake me up! Whose idea was this midnight attack?!"
"The bridge is down, but we'll find a way to get back in. Move out, on the double!"
"Patience, my little chickadees. Egg Scoopa Koopas for everyone, cash in hands, of course."
"Well, hello there! Give your uncle a big kiss! (kisses baby, who hits him with rattle) Ow! Why you-- uh, you sweet little thing you! (kisses baby again) Yuck! I hate mushroom brats!"
"Ta ta, turtle dove, until next week. Here's a smooch for your sweet cheek!"
"Oh no! I can't believe I left my secret diary lying out!"
"I should never have quit my day job!"
"Will someone get me a drink without little paper umbrellas??!"
"Are my dinosaurs in for a treat! Kinda high in cholesterol, but I'm sure they can handle it!"
"I guess I'm not a good guy."
"My beautiful fortress! And I was going to conquer the world on Tuesday!"
"Did you know that 'Oogtar' spelled backwards is 'rat goo'?"
"I had so much fun as your crooked judge I decided to become your cruel warden!"
"Ohh, I hate it when my tootsie-wootsies get wet!"
"I wonder if I can put Lemmy up for adoption?"
"Eight Egg Scoopa Koopas coming up! Cook 'em good! No one likes runny eggs, dinobrain!"
"Hey, don't forget the special Scoopa Sauce. A little scoop'll do ya, haha!"
"How can I plunder your kingdom if I don't get my beauty rest!?"
"Happy? Imposter! I never use the H word."
"Top this, turkey-mouth!"
"My ol' pop used to say in situations like this - 'Son, when you put your mind to it, there's no problem big enough to run away from'!"
"Hey, what are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a reptile ready to conquer the world?"
"King Bowser Koopa is nobody's fair game!"
"So now Toadstool and I are allies! I'll never live this down!"
"Go clean your room! And you'd better do it! Stop pinching your little brother! Don't be a brat! Turn down your stereo! Pick up your socks! Close the door! Get off the telephone!"
"Gimme back Hip's Magic Wand! It's Koopa property, and it's rightfully mine!"
"It's not neat stuff, you nincomkoop! It's the same trash we had before! Now get rid of it! And this time, see that it doesn't come back!"
"HAHAHAHAHA! This is Koopa-riffic! I can do even more bad in my Doomsub that in my Doomship!"
"STOP! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN IT TILL CHRISTMAS (BOOM) morning."
"Quiet, Koopalings! I'm the king here! I'll decide what land we're gonna take over!"
"It's a dirty job, but somebody gets to do it!"
"Kooky, what are you doing? I'm your dear old King Dad!"
"Knock it off, knuckleheads! I'm not doing exercises, I'm having a temper tantrum!"
"Clams, coins, old socks, we're given' em away!"
"You will grow up to be sneaky, two-faced, cheating illiterates, just like your dad!"
"HIP! HOP! GET IN HERE! I'LL SEND YOU TO SCHOOL! Gladly."
"Watch it soldier, when I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it! I want my feet licked."
"I wouldn't do that, plunger-face, not if you want to see your precious princess again!"
"Time out on the tongue department, Big Mouth!"
"I just got this clunker back from the repair shop!"
"The Real World’s got seven continents, and I’m givin’ one to each of you to do with what you like! Bully, you get to be, the beast of the east, in Asia! Ha ha ha ha! Cheatsy, you show how low you can go, down under, in Australia! Kootie Pie, show the Old World something newer nastiness! Go be a plague in Europe! Ha ha ha! Kooky, go wild in Africa! Big Mouth, blow your hot air all over Antarctica! Hip, rediscover North America! Be rotten from sea to shining sea! Hop, lambada South America! Give the Real World a Kooping it’ll never forget!"
"I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (looks on his button panel) Drat! Where is that 'destroy-you-miserable-little-meddlers' button?!"
Koopaling Quotes
"And your princess pedestal will be Koopa kindling!" ~Wendy
"Come one, come all, to the greatest circus of them all: the Koopaling Bros. Circus, Greatest Show In Dinosaur Land, because of me, Big Mouth, the greatest ringleader of them all, master tamer of dangerous dinosaurs, mastermind of the amazing Mech-Koopas, lord of all he surveys, proveyor of--" ~Morton
"Large-brained clutzes! I am not part of your stupid act! I am the ringmaster, the greatest ringmaster of them all at the greatest circus of them all! I am your fearless leader! Your master of pump and ceremony! I am to be treated with... uep, respect!" ~Morton
"But Mario, you hate pasta!" ~Ludwig
"On to the next act, folks! There'll be lots of audience participation! Fun for all and all for fun! The time of your life, the last time of your life!" ~Morton
"Cross Oogtar..." "...with ugly..." "...and get Oogly!" ~Iggy and Lemmy
"Have a good time! Have a nice day! Sayonara! So long! Ciao! See you later, alligator! Ciao! Bon voyage! Hasta la vista! Be sure to write!" ~Morton
"I've turned all the animals into stuffed animals!" ~Ludwig
"I've made an Abominable Snowkoopa!" ~Morton
"I've turned all these stupid, ugly, useless old paintings and statues into something really beautiful: pictures of me! There's the 'Mona Kootie', 'The Birth of Kootie', and 'Kootie Descending a Staircase'!" ~Wendy
"I've taken over all the TV stations, and I'm holding a Koopathon. I'm not going off the air until everybody sends me all their money!" ~Lemmy
"I'm turning the Amazon Forest into a parking lot. Now all I need is a zillion cars to fill it!" ~Iggy
"One: Every kid in America gives me all their toys. Two: Any boy who does not ask me for a date will be turned into a rock. Three: All the gold in Fort Knox will be melted down to make a lifetime supply of charm bracelets." ~Wendy
"Welcome to All-Star Prehistoric Wrestling, a splendid gladiatorial spectacle, a fabulous fight to the finish! In this corner in the pink and purple trunks with the orange ruffles, weighing in at 90,000 pounds each, the totally terrible twosome, titanic, thunderous, thumping, throttling, towering, thrusting, tripping top heavy, top notch, top fight, tip toe, tip top, top tip..." ~Morton
"AWW SHUT UP!!! We'll never get the game started!!" ~Roy
"Wait, I'm just about to finish! This big, BIG finish! In this corner, the Tyrannosaurus Twins, a totally terrific twosome, a terrifying..." ~Morton
"Thank you, thank you. And in this corner, from the bucolic world of Brooklyn in that rollicking real world, these two loud, bungling, faucet fixing freaks, those forever foolish, fur-brained fish heads... Fish heads? A foolish, flabby, bug-eating... YARG!" ~Morton
"Time to heat up..." "...this wimpy game!" ~Iggy and Lemmy
"You're just Princess Toadstool of the measly Mushroom Kingdom. I am going to be Empress of America!" ~Wendy
"We're playing a little game of 'Stuff Your Furniture Down The Drain'!" ~Ludwig
"Oh, hi Princess. I'm really very sorry. But I have just decided to place you under house arrest." ~Wendy
"AHH! Not my favorite string! It's INVALUABLE! Oh, there's a story behind this string, on Great Grandfather Koopa..." ~Morton
"I am the emperor of eavesdropping!" ~Larry
"Not HERE, Kootie Pie! Use your head for something BESIDES make-up! Those faucet-fixers might see it! They've got eyes everywhere! They've got ears, too, so keep it quiet! We don't want THEM at our circus. We just want cave people like Papa Koopa said! And the more, the better, and furthermore..." ~Morton
"GET HIM DOWN! NOW!!" ~Larry
"AAAHHHH!!! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A PLUMBER!!!" ~Wendy
"Oh, brother! King Dad's in trouble! That was a good speech!" ~Ludwig
"King Dad is going to pay for this!" "Yeah! Dancing lessons are expensive!" ~Roy and Morton
"This Santa Claus only gives presents to GOOD children?! What kinda wimp is he?" ~Roy
"When I get my claws on Santa, I'll turn him into Christmas pudding!" ~Roy
"Oh no, I broke a nail. This is no job for someone as magnificently beautiful as I." ~Wendy
"YOU? BEAUTIFUL? I thought YOU were part of the garbage, Kootie Pie!" ~Roy
"Hey, King Dad's doing aerobic exercises to get in shape for more badness!" ~Morton
"Don't just help him, STAND THERE!" ~Larry
"Oops! He's got more 'RRRRRRR' than everrrrrr!" ~Larry
"Hey pop, what are we having a tantrum about?" ~Morton
"Hey! Kootie Pie! Stick 'em up! Put your hands in the air! I'm a theif!" ~Morton
"Hey, lady! Gimmie your purse! I'm a real bad robber Koopa! I'm also a baaaaaad dancer!" ~Morton
Miscellaneous Character Quotes
"Gee, you're soaking wet, aren't you?" ~Mallow
"Rock TV? Hey man, what dat?" ~Oogtar
"Rats! I missed! Ooh, I hate it when I miss!" ~Thwomp
"Jagger, begin the training in our new Mario-style dojo... 1,000 jumps!" ~Jinx
"Watch that third step. It's a lulu." ~Birdo
"Who do you think you are? Bruce Lee?" ~Mallow
"NOW YOU MADE MY HAMMER MAD!" ~Hammer Brother
"Strong you are, but stronger I am!" ~Bowyer
"You're as slow as a pumpkin! At this rate it'll take you 100 more years to catch me!" ~Croco
"Am I famous yet?" ~Punchinello
"Sorry, I'm not accepting visitors past my bedtime." ~Belome
"Is it me, or do I detect milk film on this glass?" ~Wooster
"First stop, 99th floor! Lingerie, chocolate-covered insects, large bricks..." ~Wart
"I vant to be a vald class-baker." ~Chef Torte
"Curses! I missed! I need to work on my aim." ~The Witch of Pumpkin Zone
"If they can do it, so can I--I mean, you!" ~Mouser
"If it don't bleed, it ain't lunch." ~Drippy's Resturant
"Aha! You're Mario! I knew it. You can't go past here, Mr. Big Shot! It's a direct order from the Goomba King!" ~Red Goomba
"Putting on a little weight, arencha, Mario?" ~Sledge Brother
"I'm here to cause trouble on behalf of Bowser. Now, I will give you five coins... Wait! That's not right! Well, anyway, don't tell anyone, okay?" ~Baby Bowser
"And more importantly - more than one bathroom in here!" ~Piranha Plant
"Hey, my tooth's loose! Where's the deductible on our Mutual of Koopa dental insurance plan?" ~Ninji
"I just fixed that gate!... Nobody say 'gate' to me..." ~Goompapa
"No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother!" ~Koopa Troopa
"Hey you! How about lending me your clothes? No dice?! What a drag." ~King
"Because I forgot my bazooka at home! Sheesh... Give me a break, here." ~Mushroom Guard
"Since you're here, maybe you could clear something up for me. My bride-to-be is chanting, 'MARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPMEMARIOHELPME'. Is she showing her happiness?" ~Booster
"You clowns! You DON'T break a door down when entering a room!" ~Booster
"Hi! I'm Luigi! I mean, Booigi!" ~Booigi
"Wanna play GameBoo Advance?" ~GameBoo Advance
"Time for the six o'clock Boos!" ~Booscaster
Dialogue
Luigi: "I hope this crazy plan of yours works."
Mario: "All my crazy plans work!"
Man on radio: "Alien species escaping from police detention!"
Luigi: "Aliens?! We gotta deal with aliens too!?"
Mario: "Luigi, we're the aliens!"
Luigi: "We are? WHOA COOL!"
Bowser: "...and then I'll join OPEC!"
Peach: "You?! You make Mario and Luigi look like brain surgeons! You're too ignorant to be an ol' tycoon."
Bowser: "So?! I'll take brute strength and a bad attitude over smarts and education any day, 'cause ignorance is bliss!"
Pizza Delivery Man: "Python Pizza here. May I help you?"
Bowser: "King Koopa here."
Pizza Delivery Man: "Oh. Yes sir?"
Bowser: "I'd like the Koopa Special."
Pizza Delivery Man: "Pterodactyl tail on that?"
Bowser: "Yes. Dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms... and, uh, spicy."
Mouser: "You were going to flood our chambers?! Why?"
Bowser: "Well, um... then no one could travel underground anymore and, uh...."
Mario: "Let me guess. You were planning on starting a rickshaw service?"
Bowser: "Taxi service"
Bowser: "Attention Koopa Klan! Your sister Kootie Pie has finally decided what she wants for her birthday."
Morton: "Give the brat a country and she finally stops nagging!"
Mario: "Hey Luigi, can't you get any more speed out of this old tub?"
Luigi: "Keep your mustache on, Mario. We'll be on time for the dinner."
Bowser: "Guess who's coming to dinner, Tryclydius - the Marios!"
Tryclyde head 1: "Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!"
Bowser: "Don't let 'em see you, snake-breath. I want 'em to walk into my trap."
Tryclyde head 2: "Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!"
Bowser: "Why do I have to give you an order three times before it sinks in!"
Tryclyde head 1: "I don't know, ask him."
Tryclyde head 2: "I don't know, ask him."
Bowser: "I can't let you ninnies ruin my plan to get the Marios out of the way."
Tryclyde head 3: "Mash 'em! Stump 'em! Crush 'em!"
Bowser: "Get back here, you stupid serpent!"
Luigi: "See? We're here ahead of time. We got-a-half an hour till chow."
Mario: "Half an hour?! I could starve by then!"
Brutius: "Guard, take Princess Toadstool and this creature..."
Toad: "Hey! Watch dat 'creature' stuff!"
(Brutius growls at Toad and stomps the ground, causing Toad to flip.) Toad: "Wo! On second thought, 'creature' does have a nice ring to it."
Brutius: "You aren't goin' nowhere, fungus!"
Toad: "Dat's what I said, I aren't goin' nowhere."
Brutius: "FUNGUS!"
Toad: "Right. Fungus. Heh heh. Sorry, I forgot that part."
Mario: "This is some place, hey Luigi?"
Luigi: "It's some place, but I don't know what place."
Brutius: "This is the place where we capture you!"
Mario: "Oh. See, Luigi? This is the place where they--"
Mario/Luigi: "CAPTURE US?!"
Horse: "How about doing another trick and getting me some more oats?"
Mario: "Sorry, but I'm out of oats!"
(The horse stops completely, making the Mario Bros. fly up high and into the ground.) Horse: "No oats, no work! Sorry, fat boy!"
Luigi: "What's [Tryclyde] gonna do with that net, Mario?"
Mario: "He's not going fishin', that's for sure, Luigi!"
Mario: "I gotta tell you, Luigi - I'm workin' up one BIG appetite!"
Luigi: "Doh, so is he!"
Mario: "Wait a macaroni minute! I got an idea! Dance, Luigi!"
Luigi: "You lost your noodle?!"
Mario: "DANCE! DANCE!"
Bowser: "It can't be! They defeated my champion!"
Peach: "And now you gotta let them go."
Bowser: "That's what you think! Brutius, release the lions!"
Peach: "But you promised!"
Bowser: "One of the nice things about being evil is, you get to lie a lot."
Mario: "OK, you guys are supposed to be king of the beasts, right?"
Lion #1: "You got it, you chubby little jungle lunchmeat!"
Mario: "If you're really kings, you'd be having an emperor for dinner, instead of two measly plumbers."
Lion #1: "He's got a point, Harry."
Lion #1: "Now this is what I call a meal!"
Bowser: "YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"
(The lions chase Bowser out of the stadium.) Bowser: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! You Marios haven't seen the last of King Koopa!"
Lion #1: "Hey Koopa! Slow down! We're hungry!"
Lion #1: "Hey, Luigi! Y'wanna get to work? Break time's over! I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber."
Luigi: "One extra-big plate of spaghetti, coming right up!"
Roy: "I'm paintin' grafitti all over this wall, green daddy."
Bowser: "Lousy lizards! Bully, any stupid airhead can slop grafitti around!"
Roy: "But it's not just any wall, pop. It's the Great Wall of China!"
Larry: "I've turned every human being [in Austrailia] into a kangaroo--except one."
Bowser: "And whadja do with him?"
(Larry turns Crocodile Dundee into a shrimp.) Larry: "We're throwing a shrimp on a barby!"
Torte: "Now vat?"
Apprentice: "Chef Torte! The cake's MOVING!"
Torte: "Talk no more of zees!"
Apprentice: "No! Really, truly. Why would I lie?"
Torte: "Because you are...IDIOT! Zee! It IS NOT moving!"
(The cake moves.) Torte/Apprentice: "Huh?!"
Torte: "Zee cake's alive! RUN!!"
Apprentice: "See? I was RIGHT!"
Luigi: "Ugh! Mario, turn that racket back down! Can't you see I'm trying to read?"
Mario: "Well, I want to listen to music! This record's hot!"
(Luigi gets up and takes the record.) Mario: "Huh?"
(Luigi throws the record into the fireplace.) Luigi: "There! Now it's even hotter."
Bowser: "There's only one king of Cramalot! And who is that?"
Koopa Troopa: "Ahh, can ya give me a hint?"
Bowser: "He's sitting right here on this throne!"
Koopa Troopa: "Well gee, maybe ya better get off him."
Mario: "What's green and scaly, and covered with meat sauce?"
Bowser: "I don't know. What?"
Mario: "A Koopa slammed into spaghetti!"
Bowser: "Cut the corn and fight, faucet face!"
Mario: "Koopa, you're the meanest, ugliest lizard that ever slimed its way across Cramalot!"
Bowser: "Flattery will get you nowhere."
Bowser: "Know what I'm gonna do with you buttinskies?"
Mario: "Say you're sorry and let us go?"
Mario: "Don't I get a last request or something? A pepperoni cheesecake? A fetuchine sundae?"
Bowser: "Are you kidding? I'm a villain, remember?!"
Luigi: "200 years?! What're we gonna do?!"
Mario: "Don't worry, because I doubt we're gonna live 200 years, Luigi!"
Luigi: "Hey Mario! You sure you know what you're doing?"
Mario: "Sure, I'm doing 60 miles an hour!"
Mario: "You okay, Luigi?"
Luigi: "I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach."
Mario: "Now that's what I call a meal!"
Luigi: "Well, that's what I call ten meals!"
Toad: "When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!"
Luigi: "Hey, what's the matter with King Koopa's wagon? Is it broken?"
Mario: "Looks like we win the bike race by default."
Luigi: "It's not my fault."
Peach: "Guys, you've been tricked! This race was one of Koopa's traps!"
Toad: "Yeah, da bill collect after my mushroom hide was just a phony!"
Luigi: "You mean I risked my neck for nothing?!"
Mario: "You mean I wasted my tomato sauce!??!"
Mario: "What would you do without your big brother?"
Luigi: "I'd like to give it a shot and find out."
Mario: "Ah, come on!"
Luigi: "I was just about to ask [Daisy] that."
Mario: "You wasn't gonna ask her nothin', you was gonna let her go."
Luigi: "Now she'll think I'm a complete idiot."
Mario: "Come on, you're gonna see her tonight. You'll impress her with your manners."
Luigi: "Yeah? So why did you tell her I suck my thumb, huh?!"
Toad: "This is the second-biggest hypodermic needle I've ever seen!"
Luigi: "What was the biggest?"
Toad: "My last flu shot."
Axem Black: "I broke my shades!"
Axem Red: "Serves ya right!"
Axem Green: "I have a headache!"
Axem Red: "You are really out of shape!"
Axem Pink: "My make-up's running!"
Axem Red: "Then switch brands!"
Axem Yellow: "I'm hungry!"
Axem Red: "You should've thought of that before we left!"
Mario: "Speaking of Yoshi, where is he? He never misses lunch."
Luigi: "Neither do you, unless you're in trouble."
--King Scoopa Koopa, SMWTV
Yoshi: "Um, I forgot money."
Bowser: "You little dino-dweeb! Whadaya think this is, a charity operation?! I'll make special Scoopa Sauce outta you."
Mario: "Step off, you nasty green bully! What's he owe?"
Bowser: "18 smackeroos, flange-face. Absolutely no credit to actors, writers, or plumbers."
Mario: "18 coins?! I call that highway robbery!"
Bowser: "Well, I call it inflation, in more ways than one. (to viewers) Wait till the calories start piling up on his waistline, heh heh."
(Luigi and Yoshi become Chickadactyls and fly out with the treasure chest. Mario starts pounding on the door.) Mario: "Princess! Let me out! Luigi and Yoshi have flown the coop!"
(Peach opens the door.) Mario: "They took our treasure chest, too!"
Peach: "But how'd they do it? The door was locked the whole time."
Mario: "Like I said, they flew the coop!"
Peach: "Right, they grew wings and flew away. Give me a break, Mario."
Mario: "That does it! We're shutting down Scoopa Koopa's before the damage is permanent!"
Bowser: "You and who else, plumb dumb? My customers and employees may not agree with you! One more day and it'll be too late. Your friends'll go from the fried egg to the fryer! And the next stop is the frying pan. (to his gang) He wants to shut us down, friends! What are you gonna do about it?"
(His gang gives chase after Mario and Peach.) Mario: "We need a plan, quick!"
Peach: "Since we can't fly, I suggest we run!"
Mario: "Luigi, do you like pancakes?"
Luigi: "Yeah, I love 'em. Why?"
Mario: "Because if we don't think of something fast, that's what we're going to be squashed into!"
Bowser: "Wow, any more food, Wooster, and I'll go into hibernation!"
Wooster: "Don't be silly, sir. Grease dip for the fries? What's a turnip fry without liquid lard sauce?"
Mario: "Y'know, sometimes the princess reminds me of my ex-girlfriend."
Luigi: "Sometimes King Koopa reminds me of your ex-girlfriend!"
Luigi: "Mario, have I ever told you that you drive me crazy?"
Mario: "That's great! Dirk drives his brother crazy too!"
Peach: "Fellow Mushroom-ites, we are facing dark days ahead."
King Toadstool: "OH NO! Higher lighting bills!"
Snifit: "Remember, the bomb is perfectly safe as long as you don't drop it."
Shy Guy: "Uh-oh!"
Snifit: "Is there a problem back there?"
Shy Guy: "Ummmm... maybe!"
(The bomb explodes, making everyone really stupid.) Snifit: "Boy, somebody's gonna get a good-natured razzing when I get smart again!"
Bowser: (yelling at Toad's Shy Guy costume) "Hey, where did you get this crummy robe? What cheap material! What shoddy workmanship! You're a disgrace to the Shy Guy uniform! Stand up while I'm yelling at you, you limp wimp. SPEAK UP, FOOL!!"
Toad: "I bet Koopa was the inspiration for the Stupid Bomb."
Mario: "Okay, we have to remember the World '2-1'."
Luigi: "You remember the '2' and I'll remember the '1'."
Luigi: "Ah, there we go, the valves are tightened."
Mario: "Tightened? I thought we were loosening them!"
Peach: "I'm starting to feel brighter."
King Toadstool: "Does that mean lower lighting bills?"
Mario: "Hey! We just gonna hang around here all day, or get back in the race?"
Luigi: "I thought hangin' around all day was the better choice."
Mario: "Adding it all up, it's perfectly clear--Wart snatched the king again! I can't believe it!"
Luigi: "Not only that, they were sold out of plumbing supplies!"
Toad: "Fellas, Koopa's fort is impregnable!"
Luigi: "Yeah, and we can't get in there either!"
Toad: "This is terrible!"
Peach: "Yes, Mario and Luigi really need our help."
Toad: "I meant da snoring - it's driving me bonkers!"
Bowser: "By the way, my Koopa Bros.... About the captured Star Spirit I've locked up in your fortress... Who's guarding him right now?"
Ninjakoopa Red: "Uh... nobody, sir... You know we're here and so..."
Bowser: "You idiots!! Use your heads! Get back to the fortress and guard that Star Spirit!"
Mario: "But we're supposed to rescue HER!!"
Toad: "Uh, I don't think this is the time for technitalities..."
Peach: "Me, join a harem? Oh, give me a break. Harems are from the stupid olden days."
Sultan: "I LIKE THE STUPID OLDEN DAYS!"
Toad: "What's so super about this 'Super Sushi'?"
Peach: "Whoever eats it doubles in size and strength."
Mario: "And besides that, it makes great spaghetti sauce!"
Bowser: "Yes, babycakes. You not only get to see Silly Thawilly…"
Wendy: "Milli Vanilli!"
Bowser: "…But you get to keep Billy Danilli for your very own."
Wendy / Larry: "MILLI VANILLI!!"
Rick: "We're in big trouble, Mario!"
Mario: "You mean because Tatanga's corps of engineers have rebuilt this place into the final level of the Birabuto Kingdom?"
Josh: "No, he means Mom's gonna kill us when she finds out we rode the train here alone!"
(Mario and Peach are playing tennis, but Yoshi keeps eating the ball.) Mario: "Errgh, Yoshi!"
Yoshi: "But I get ball like you say!"
Mario: "After the ball is out of play!"
Luigi: "Ballboys don't eat the balls, they pick 'em up."
Yoshi: "What? Me no eat ball? You call this fun?!"
(Yoshi eats the ball again.) Mario: "Yoshi! What did we just tell you?"
Yoshi: "Outside court means out of play. Is Yoshi's yes?"
Mario/Luigi/Peach: "NO!"
Mario: "We got to stop [the cave-people]! They're going to their doom!"
Yoshi: "'Doom'? What is 'doom'?"
(They enter the castle, where a circus tent is set up.) Yoshi: "Oho, this 'doom' thing definitely more fun than tennis!"
Bowser: "A circus isn't a circus without a dinosaur-taming act!"
Mario: "Uh, how about a chipmunk-taming act instead?"
Luigi: "Hmmm, what's Koopa up to? He never does anything like this without a reason!"
Mario: "Relax! Enjoy the show! We'll find out soon enough!"
Toad: "Now what do we do?"
Shy Guy: "Punt. Wait--! Forget I said that!"
Bowser: "You stupid sniveling Snifits! Find a way to cross that chasm and find it now!"
(He kicks a pillar, which falls and makes a bridge.) Snifit: "I got an idea. Let's use that rock thing for a bridge!"
Bowser: "That was my idea, you snub-faced sim!"
Bowser: "And who's gonna stop me? Your plumber pals ran out on you, remember?"
Mario: "Wrong again, lizard-breath!"
Luigi: "I thought we were gonna sneak up on him, Mario."
Mario: "I forgot."
Bowser: "You'll pay for this, you pesky plumber!"
Mario: "Oh yeah, Koopa? I'm sending you a bill!"
Peach: "We made it! And Bowser is blown to bits!"
Mario: "I can't believe they pulled it off without my direction."
Snifit 1: "Boss, shouldn't we be concentrating on the girl?"
Booster: "Right! Now, about the girl in my life, who thinks I should marry her? Well? Speak up!"
Snifit 2: "A wedding ceremony would make a great PARTY!"
Booster: "Ah, a party! We haven't had one of those. It could be fun! So...what is a party?"
Snifit 3: "Well, you drink punch and eat CAKE!...I think."
Booster: "Hmmm...Drink punch...eat cake...? It sounds...complicated. I don't know if I can muster the strength to do it...Let's walk through it once! It's wedding rehearsal time!"
Snifit 1: "We will now begin the ceremony. Walk down the aisle with the... (hey someone make her smile!) beautiful bride-to-be."
Booster: "Wait! Mario always shows up about now to ruin the fun. We've got to take that into consideration, you know. Someone go and get the Mario doll."
Snifits: "It isn't here."
Booster: "Of course it's here! You lazy slobs couldn't find water if you were fish!"
Booster: "Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!"
Snifit 1: "Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake."
Booster: "....? THIS thing's a cake? Okay, everyone! Here's the stumper. How do we eat this? I SAY we boil it! No.2, what do you say?"
Snifit 2: "Way too messy! Why don't you just swallow it?"
Booster: "WHAT?! In one GULP? That's easier said than done!"
Snifit 3: "Come, Booster! You can do it! Open wide, please!"
Booster: "My nerves are shot. I feel like I've forgotten to tie my cord before a bungee jump."
Peach: "Will your court photographers be there if I sign over the kingdom?"
Bowser: "Of course! It's the photo opportunity of my life!"
Peach: "Then I'll do it on two conditions: that you move us to the throne room, and that you change that tacky outfit."
Bowser: "Get off my throne, you ugly upstick!"
Larry: "Careful King Dad, I mean, ex-King Dad, I'm the new king of the Mushroom Kingdom, see? (Bowser sees the document and Larry takes Bowser's crown.) 'Course, since you gave me the idea to cheat you out of it, I'll make sure you get a cushy assignment. Say, cleaning the royal stables?"
Bowser: "You nincom-koop!" (takes back the crown)
Larry: "Hey! That's mine!"
Bowser: "No, it's mine you double-crossing dodo! Look!" (There is a stupid face drawn where the signature should be.)
Mario: "Luigi, you'll have to swim across the moat and let down the drawbridge."
Luigi: "Me? But, but I can't! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby. (makes uncomfortable noises; Mario shoves him forward) Well, it was worth a try."
Luigi: "There was nothing below me but a lava waterfall. Luckily, I landed on a skull raft."
Yoshi: "Oh, skulls mean bad medicine."
Luigi: "But these skulls were GOOD medicine for me."
Bowser: "Now my dear, it's time to initiate you into the Loyal Brotherhood of Tomato Sauce Vampires."
Peach: "Brotherhood? But I'm a girl!"
Koopa: “We’re gonna follow those faucet-fixing fools, and when they find the Lost Mushroom, we’re gonna take it away from them!â€
Mouser: “Geez boss, that’s stealing!â€
Koopa Troopa: “Yeah!â€
Tryclyde: “T-t-t-that’s right!â€
Koopa: “Of course it’s stealing, you dim-witted dumbcots! We’re bad guys! We’re supposed to steal!†(Koopa jumps up and hits them with his pole.)
Mouser: “Oh yeah...â€
Tryclyde: “That’s right!â€
Koopa Troopa: “I forgot!â€
Koopa: “Boy, good henchmen are hard to find!â€
Super Mario Bros. are cool like sunglasses!
