All of the below jokes are sort of inappropriate.
I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the
counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered,
'No, this is my first time.'
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
'Do these excite you?' She asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and lay down on a desk.
'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
'Did you put that condom on?' she asked.
I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.
She fainted.
A couple have separate bedrooms due to his loud snoring,
One night when feeling aroused the husband calls his wife "Hey sexy wexy fancy paying a visit to hubby wubbies room?"
She goes to his room and trips on the carpet and falls ,he jumps up and says "Oh sweety weety are you alright let me help you upsy wupsy"
They climb into bed and he ****s the arse off her after ten minutes she leaves to go back to her room and trips and falls over again,
The husband looks at her on the floor and says "Stupid ***** " turns over and goes to sleep.
A man is raping a woman and she cries, "Please, think of my children!"
Kinky *****.