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Author Topic: You Laugh, You Lose  (Read 297518 times)

« Reply #1245 on: October 10, 2009, 06:33:39 PM »
One time, I had a LOT of homework. Too much. I wouldn't be able to do it all myself in just one night. So I paid a kid to do my maths homework. Part of the maths homework was to draw a 90 degree angle. This kid drew an 80 degree angle. I learned that if I wanted it done right, I should have done it myself.
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

« Reply #1246 on: October 10, 2009, 08:11:06 PM »
YYur  waYur n beYur you Yur plusYur instYur an Yur Yur whaYur

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #1247 on: October 10, 2009, 08:45:23 PM »
I forgot this was YLYL for a second and, assuming that to be a legitimate anecdote, I was about to call dc out on his Britishness.

And I'm sorry to say that I lost to the Kanye West joke/Chuck Norris fact.
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #1248 on: October 12, 2009, 09:30:49 AM »
One time, I had a LOT of homework. Too much. I wouldn't be able to do it all myself in just one night. So I paid a kid to do my maths homework. Part of the maths homework was to draw a 90 degree angle. This kid drew an 80 degree angle. I learned that if I wanted it done right, I should have done it myself.

I was expecting that to be a math pun that I wouldn't get. So...is that a math pun?
every

« Reply #1249 on: October 12, 2009, 09:36:15 AM »
If she is indeed genetically mutated such that she has an eye in the back of her head, then I guess that she is genetically mutated and has an eye in the back of her head.

Glorb

  • Banned
« Reply #1250 on: October 12, 2009, 12:06:51 PM »
Oh.
every

« Reply #1251 on: October 12, 2009, 12:52:50 PM »
That's why protractors exist, although I only used one once in elementary school. I hadn't used them in so long that I forgot what one was. I was reminded in EarthBound when Jeff attempted to use a protractor against an enemy and it did absolutely nothing.

"Are you kidding? I was a star. I could bend a girder to any angle. 30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it. 31... But I couldn't go on living once I found out what the girders were for: suicide booths. Well, it was nice meeting you Fry. I'm gonna go kill myself."
-- Bender, "Futurama"
« Last Edit: October 12, 2009, 12:58:40 PM by penguinwizard »
You didn't say wot wot.

« Reply #1252 on: October 12, 2009, 01:22:22 PM »
A man walks into a pub and asks for some Jim Jones punch.

The bartender says "**** off! You won't tip me afterward."
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

Luigison

  • Old Person™
« Reply #1253 on: October 14, 2009, 04:43:16 PM »
Here's a post in the style of dc804: 

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while ‘the lights would turn off.’

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, ‘May I please use the restroom?

The bartender replied, ‘OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.’

‘Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,’ said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. !

She went to the bartender and said, ‘Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?’

‘Well, now they know you’re one of us,’ said the bartender, ‘Would you like a drink?’

‘No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,’ said the puzzled nun.

‘You see,’ laughed the bartender, ‘every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?’
“Evolution has shaped us with perceptions that allow us to survive. But part of that involves hiding from us the stuff we don’t need to know."

« Reply #1254 on: October 14, 2009, 05:13:31 PM »
hahaha

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive *******.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If SHE asks you, it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, you're a pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!
One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

ShadowBrain

  • Ridiculously relevant
« Reply #1255 on: October 16, 2009, 08:40:21 AM »
"Mario is your oyster." ~The Chef

Rao

  • Arr! Ay! Oh!
« Reply #1256 on: October 16, 2009, 11:36:27 AM »
I lost to the last two posts.
What's your problem, Cambodian?

« Reply #1257 on: October 16, 2009, 12:50:00 PM »
He was apparently so sad it took pushing the game's 4-bit capabilities to the limit to accurately convey his emotion.
If she is indeed genetically mutated such that she has an eye in the back of her head, then I guess that she is genetically mutated and has an eye in the back of her head.

« Reply #1258 on: October 16, 2009, 01:04:47 PM »
I found this, I think it should win the thread

One Ring to rule them all. One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

« Reply #1259 on: October 16, 2009, 02:57:31 PM »
Luigison: Question everything!
Me: Why?

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