x_____x Whoa... CrossEyed! That post must've taken you forever to write!
So...confused...by...androgynous...persons... Male...? Female...? Brain...not...computing... XD
With androgynous people, I think I perceive their gender based on how feminine or masculine they look. So, like the people (males?) in those pictures Luigison and CrossEyed linked/posted have pretty feminine traits. I've seen androgynous people (females?) who look fairly masculine, though.
I remember Polly Pocket! I think I had
this one as a kid. I definitely had
this one. 1990? 1992? (Why does it say '89 if it's '92?) Man, I feel old.
Anyway, I think I'll respond with my own ridiculously long post of overshare.
Growing up, I occasionally played with toys that were generally considered more "boyish"—although I did so in a girly sort of way. Like I remember playing with Hot Wheels with my brother, and we'd have the cars act sort of like people/characters—like in the movie
Cars. Micro Machines would be kids. Occasionally we'd set up tracks and race them. I don't think I ever played cars by myself, just with my brother. I only had maybe two cars that were actually mine; one was pink and the other was a sort of bright neon red van (girly cars). I also occasionally played with my brother's Batman toys and dinosaurs, but again, only with him and possibly his friends, never by myself.
My favorite toys growing up were LEGOs and video games, which, while I guess are gender-neutral, were more associated as things girls didn't play much. I did have female friends who played with those, too. I also LOVED playing Barbies, though, which is "girly"—but, actually, I played with them way longer than my friends did, to the point where I was afraid people would make fun of me. My best friend, who was about two years younger than me, stopped playing with them before I did—and we used to play Barbies together all the time. I was probably 11 or 12 when I finally stopped.
Incidentally, my brother would occasionally play Barbies with me, but only if he had his dinosaurs. (Whenever he got his hands on my Barbies without me, he'd strip them and pull off their heads, which INFURIATED me! He broke the necks of several of them!)
Heh, I think that's why I like
The Sims 2 so much—it's like LEGOs and Barbies and video games wrapped into one glorious package!
I was also obsessed with Power Rangers and Star Wars as a kid, which is also considered more of a boy thing. I remember we kids and our neighborhood friends would play "Power Rangers"—and we each would pretend to be a different Ranger. I was, of course, Pink, my favorite color (at the time). It was pretty gender-balanced, though; there were 3 girls and 3 boys playing (and each of us got to be the color we wanted), so maybe it wasn't too weird/boyish. *Shrug*
I remember being embarrassed that I liked Power Rangers, so I kept it hidden from my classmates. I felt bad because I never wore a Pink Power Ranger outfit (clothes, not a costume) that my friends (the family of two of the other "Rangers") got me for my birthday. I was too self-conscious to wear it.
Oddly enough, for the longest time, growing up I claimed I hated the male gender. I even refused to say the word "boy" and instead replaced it with the word "alien." XD (It's so ingrained in me that to some degree I still feel awkward saying "boy" to this day. I usually say "guy," anyway. But that's weird when talking about male children, as opposed to, like, teens and young adults. I got over it after working with kids. :P)
I was probably in denial, though, about hating males, because I played with both genders pretty frequently. I always considered the boys to be my brother's friends, not mine. I really only played with them in group settings where there was at least another girl. Unless it was video games.
My parents said, "Oh, you'll change your mind eventually. You'll like boys." I was squicked out by that idea, and claimed I never wanted a boyfriend or to get married or any of that sort of thing. Then again, considering the only guys I ever spent any extensive time around were my brother and his friends—whom I also viewed as annoying little brothers—my attitude kind of made sense.
In middle school, I briefly wondered if I were gay, because girls all around me were obsessed with guys and talked about crushes and stuff, and I thought guys were "gross" and didn't understand what all the fuss was about. But then I realized I wasn't attracted to girls, either, so I guess that made me "nothing yet."
By the time I was, hmm,
15? 14, I realized maybe there were SOME guys that weren't so bad. I formed a sort of acquaintanceship with a guy who sat next to me in English (that is, he was a guy I talked to in class), and he was okay.
I think what really changed my attitude toward the male gender, though, was this message board. (Dawww... :] ) I formed a lot of friendships here. And this place is predominantly male. So yeah.
In the later years of high school, I formed friendships with a few "IRL" guys. I think I had my first legitimate crush when I was like 17. Yeah, I'm slow. (Looking back, I probably did have a couple of fleeting crushes in like 6th grade, back when boys were still "yucky," but if I did, I was in denial about it.)
After experiencing my first serious crush, I realized, okay, maybe I am straight! ...Sort of. (Coming to terms with that was awkward, considering I'd previously vowed I'd never liked guys.) Whenever I've been attracted to someone, it's been on an emotional/romantic level. Finding the person "aesthetically pleasing" is a component of it, too, I guess, because I've thought of some guys as being "cute" without being emotionally attracted to them. But I've never been attracted to anyone in a sexual way.
I'm still kind of confused about my orientation, if I'm really asexual or not. I say I am because I've never experienced sexual attraction—including during the times I've been in romantic relationships. Part of me wonders, though, if my lacking it is due to some combination of naturally low libido compounded by being on anti-depressants (which I've been on long before I ever experienced romantic attraction), my shyness/social anxiety, possible Asperger’s, religious upbringing, fear, possibly repression, not being a very touchy-feely person, and having VERY strong aversion to bodily fluids. But I dunno.
I do know that I would be perfectly happy being a virgin my whole life. In fact, I'd probably prefer it that way. Even if I were married. Which means that my odds of ever finding and being in a successful lifetime-lasting romantic relationship are about 0%. If I cared. I'm more interested in companionship/friendship, regardless of gender. "Romance" (in a non-sexual way) is really more of a bonus.
[A]t the end of the day, I want companionship with someone who complements me, filling in my weaknesses and accentuating my strengths, and me theirs, and someone to love Jesus and neighbors with, and probably someone to raise kids with and make a family and make a home, and I’m open to finding that love wherever it might show up.
I like the way this was worded. I suppose I want something like that. Only without the kids part. What that means exactly, I don't know.
So yeah. Hooray for weirdness and overshare!