Author Topic: The REAL Astronaut Story (Read 16193 times)

SolidShroom · « **Reply #15 on:** July 10, 2009, 01:49:35 PM »

Use the cloaking device (which has been recharged by this point) to escape the jeep without attention. Purchase a road map at the nearest available retailer, then, hot-wire the jeep (A NASA astronaut should have enough knowledge to do this) and use the map to drive to the nearest large city.

-FoxMcCloud- · « **Reply #16 on:** July 10, 2009, 06:53:45 PM »

I ditch the spacesuit (I'm wearing normal clothes underneath) and quickly climb out of the Jeep, then walk calmly to the nearest bank. While making a withdrawal of about $70, I casually remark to the teller that I am just passing through the town and ask if he would be kind enough to direct me to the nearest bar.

TEM · « **Reply #17 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:08:59 PM »

Quote from: -FoxMcCloud- on July 10, 2009, 06:53:45 PM

I ditch the spacesuit (I'm wearing normal clothes underneath) and quickly climb out of the Jeep, then walk calmly to the nearest bank. While making a withdrawal of about $70, I casually remark to the teller that I am just passing through the town and ask if he would be kind enough to direct me to the nearest bar.

You take off and leave the space suit that has the ability to turn you invisible in the Jeep and get some cash from an ATM, using your bank card in the process. You head to the nearest bar and have a drink.

What do you do?

Glorb · « **Reply #18 on:** July 10, 2009, 08:12:59 PM »

Finish my drink and then hop up on the karoake stage. TIEM FER SUM MUSIK.

CrossEyed7 · « **Reply #19 on:** July 11, 2009, 04:18:25 AM »

I get so drunk that I think the shot glass is a beer can and try to crush it against my forehead.

TEM · « **Reply #20 on:** July 13, 2009, 11:49:31 AM »

Quote from: CrossEyed7 on July 11, 2009, 04:18:25 AM

I get so drunk that I think the shot glass is a beer can and try to crush it against my forehead.

Smashing the thick glass on your head knocks you out and you fall face first on the floor of the bar. Three seconds later five government officials come in and search the building for you. They never give the passed out yokel on the floor a second glance. An hour later you wake up, you ask the bartender why the place is cleared out. He tells you that some government stiffs were in the building questioning everyone so the tourists scattered. You realize that you had a close call but managed to get under the radar of the US Government's goons. A little groggy, but otherwise okay, you walk outside into the bustling tourist foot traffic. It appears to be about 2:30 PM.

What do you do next?

Sqrt2 · « **Reply #21 on:** July 13, 2009, 06:49:07 PM »

Go to your Jeep and skip town (after stopping at home and getting some supplies).

Glorb · « **Reply #22 on:** July 13, 2009, 07:35:55 PM »

Doesn't that assume you have access to the jeep and live in the area?

I decide to rent a room at a nearby motel with the cash I have left.

Turtlekid1 · « **Reply #23 on:** July 13, 2009, 07:39:34 PM »

Go to the dentist.

TEM · « **Reply #24 on:** July 14, 2009, 11:18:29 PM »

Quote from: Glorb on July 13, 2009, 07:35:55 PM

I decide to rent a room at a nearby motel with the cash I have left.

Low on cash, unable to use an ATM without alerting the authorities, and dreaming of your lifetime's worth of phat living in the secret desert cache, you decide to rent a room at a seedy motel to formulate a plan and rest.

It's the next day, 8:00 AM. You have about twenty bucks.

What do you do?

Turtlekid1 · « **Reply #25 on:** July 15, 2009, 11:25:22 AM »

Take a cab to the city nearest to where I stashed the gold.

Glorb · « **Reply #26 on:** July 15, 2009, 11:41:38 AM »

I go through the phone book and contact a gold detection and excavation expert, explaining to him that he can get a sizeable portion of the treasure should he decide to help.

EDIT: This story's actually getting pretty cool. Once it's over it should be made into a book, length allowing.

TEM · « **Reply #27 on:** July 15, 2009, 12:16:12 PM »

Quote from: Turtlekid1 on July 15, 2009, 11:25:22 AM

Take a cab to the city nearest to where I stashed the gold.

You call a cab company and get laughed at when you tell him you want to travel 400 miles and only have 20 dollars. It's 8:05 AM.

What do you do next?

Glorb · « **Reply #28 on:** July 15, 2009, 12:19:19 PM »

I go through the phone book and contact a rather mediocre former construction worker who's actually never excavated anything major before. But apparently he's willing to work for 20 bucks.

Chupperson Weird · « **Reply #29 on:** July 15, 2009, 01:02:23 PM »

Go to the dollar store and buy a seemingly unrelated assortment of products that when assembled correctly provide me with a means to contact my robot underlings back at the launch base.