Mailbag
07 Sep 2001

"Abby" Not J.J.

Got something you want us to answer next week? Send it to tmk_mailbag@kontek.net.

Dear Abby,
Are you aware that in the Mariopedia that Cheep Cheep (SMW) and Blurp are listed with each other's names?

Anyway, I also have a question: Do you know if the GameCube will have a game packaged with it?
-CodeHunter64

Dear Hunter,
You are obviously drunk, as there is no such error on the Mariopedia. I suggest a 12-step program to help combat your drinking problem.
To answer your second concern, no, GameCube will not be sold with a game.

Dear Abby,
I have a couple things to say, first this site is the best for Mario and I would like to know if there realy is a Mario game like 64 coming out for gamecube because my friend said there wasn't.
-The Timlers

Dear Timlers,
I think you should dump this so-called "friend". He is obviously having a bad influence on your grammar skills.

Dear Abby,
I am cool! Please tell me when the Game Cube comes out, because I am too lazy and stupid to find out for myself.
-Y0shirulez2364

Dear Yoshi,
Hahah, actually folks, there is no "Yoshi" at all! Abby is just having some fun with you. But this fictional writer raises an important point; never send in any more letters about GameCube's release date, or Abby will come to your house and kill you.

Dear Abby,
I have heard many people refer to the GameCube (Including last week's letter from Yoshi21) as GCN. What's up with that? Letter abbreviations like that are confusing, I'm pretty sure it means, "GameCube Nintendo," but a error like that would rival "All your base are belong to us," in sheer hilarity. Stuff like this is weird, I still haven't found out what the X in PSX means!
-Chris Sutton

Dear Christopher,
The reason the "NGC" acronym is not used is because many other fine American companies already use it for their own products.
The Playstation is called the "PSX" because back in its preliminary days as an add-on for the SNES, it was code named "Playstation X". Though the "X" was dropped from the actual system name, it remained in the acronym for simplicity's sake.

Dear Abby,
We all know how Nintendo is making re-makes of all the way cool Mario games. Do you know if they'll re-make my favorites (Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World)?

Once again, thanks for your time,
-Drew

Dear Drew,
You obviously are just pretending to be a fan of this website, as we have already mentioned in several mailbags that YES SMB3 and SMW WILL be available on the GBA.

Dear Abby,
I visit the web every day practically and went to Nintendo's official Spaceworld 2001 site the other day and it said Super Smash Bros. Melee is going to be rated TEEN! Is this true? And while I'm on the subject of SSB Melee is Luigi in it because he was awsome in the first one.
-Danke

Dear Danke,
Smash Bros. 2 will, in fact, be rated "teen". Because of the GameCube's realistic graphics, the violence seems much more intense in SSB2 than it did in number one.

Dear Abby,
Im having trouble with super mario64. I cant collect 100 coins for the power star in course 14, tick tock clock. when time is still, I cant get up high enough to get more coins. when time is moving I cant get the 8 red coins (wich I think is an important part of getting 100 coins in any level.) what should I do?
-Doug

Dear Douglass,
In order to get 100 coins in TTC you MUST play the level with time moving. Slow is the best. As you mentioned, the red coins are important, and you can collect them by climbing up high in the level, then jumping down, and attempting to collect the coins as you fall. Don't worry if you get hurt, there is a heart close by.

Dear Abby,
1. How exactly _do_ you get all those screenshots, if you're anti-roms?
2. Are you really anti-roms, or just officially, and why?
3. dont u get anoid when all thos ppl write wit bad sp. anf gramer and cant seem to wurk a keyblaxl,?
-NTG85

Dear NTG85,
The people at TMK are not anti-ROM, and use ROMs quite regularly, the scamps!
And yes, a seasoned literary veteran like myself does get quite annoyed at bad spelling and grammar.

(NB: This writer also sent a follow up letter. His question is of no importance, and is not worth posting, but just for his sake, the answer was "No".)

Dear Abby,
[I have written a long, rambling list, which asks a few vauge, off-topic questions. Please put it on TMK so I can have some free attention.]
-Hirozaki

Dear Hirozaki,
Woah! Not so fast! Abby will be happy to print and answer your list, but first she will edit it until it suits her liking.

Here is Hirozaki's list:
1.) Nintendo is starting to be evil. [blah blah blah]
2.) [yadda yadda yadda]
3.) [already been answered / discussed]
4.) Where'd Goemon go on the GameCube Smash Bros. trophy mode?
5.) [yak yak yak] Megaman and Final Fantasy [sic] are Sony's!
6.) Smash Bros makes a self-advertising with the obscure characters [...]
7.) [..] I'm not from USA. [..]
8.) [ramble ramble ramble]

And to answer the ONE question that was indirectly asked in that mess, Goemon is NOT a Nintendo character so he will not be in SSBM, trophy or otherwise.

Dear Abby,
Can you please give me a list of all of the most commonly asked mailbag questions, so I will not stupidly re-ask a question that has already been repeatedly answered?
-Concerned about looking stupid

Dear Concerned,
I would be happy to.
The following questions should NOT be asked:

1) When does Game Cube come out?
2) When does (Insert Mario Game Title Here) come out?
3) My friend said (Insert Stupid Story Here). Is this true?
4) I think I saw a Mario reference in (insert stupid 80's show title here). One of the characters coughed, and it kinda sounded like he said "Luigi". Cool, eh?
5) Where is the secret page?

Of course, those are just a few of the stupid questions that are regularly received by this mailbag. There are lots more, but Abby is tired now, and needs to get back to the Cyrogenics Lab.

Yours truly,

Abigail Van Buren