The Evil Bread

[Glorb]

"Listen, past me! Remember when you saved George Washington from the Terminators? Well, they're back, along with the zombies and all the other villians! However, they're currently in England in 1888, fighting with all the other villians. But watch out; if they all came through a time portal at once, the results would be catastrophic, like...like..."

Future Glorb piped up. "Like crossing the streams?"

There was a pause. Future TBT sighed.
"Fine, like crossing the streams." Future Glorb continued babbling. "Man, is that what I'll be like in the future?" asked Present Glorb.

[Glorb]

Sorry for the bump, but can someone revive this? I'm reluctant to double-post, so I never added another part of the story.

[Ultima Shadow]

You just revived it. xD

"Yes," Future Glorb replied.

"Hey! I couldn't help but overhear your predicament, and I want to help out."

All of the knights gasped. Standing in front them was Ultimate Shadow Lord and his Darkness Hedgehog team!

"I thought you were pure evil?" Hyrulian asked.

"I am... I just want to become the most powerful villain. By destroying the rest of the villains, I can be exactly that."

The Knights thought hard. Was Ultimate Shadow Lord trustworthy?

"I don't think he's trustworthy," Glorb muttered.

"Well, the real Ultima Shadow stole my ice cream, so he's not exactly trustworthy either," muttered TBT.

"Thanks a lot," US mumbled angrily. "Are you saying I'm not trustworthy and my evil version is?"

"Pretty much," Future Hyrulian replied.

"Okay, it sounds like a plan," US laughed.

[Glorb]

“So it is,” replied USL, in that tone of voice that signaled a long and boring lecture on something. “Let’s start planning.” And at this, the rest of the Knights groaned wearily.

Ultimate Shadow Lord pulled out a stick and pointed at a chart. “This”, he said, pointing at a few stick figures, “is us. Currently, we are numbered fourteen, counting you five, your future counterparts, and my team.” He then pointed to what looked like a thousand stick figures in a crowd. “Those are all the villains. Luckily, they never made it and have all been zombified. Unluckily, they’re trying to get in.” Future Ultima Shadow looked up. “Get in where? Hey, wait…how’d we get in this building?”

USL looked shifty. “Uh…plot hole? Um, anyway, we currently have no supplies and most of us are pretty weird, so…Ah!” Looking in the back, he saw Future Glorb eating Future Chef. “Holy crap! Future Glorb, you’ve resorted to cannibalism already? Are you…a zombie?” Future Glorb struggled to come up with an answer. “Uhm, no?” USL sighed. “Okay, we’re down to 13 of us. Anyway, let’s go look for supplies.”

DAY TWO

By now, the Knights were starting to get suspicious of each other. Future Glorb had already eaten Future Chef, Future The Blue Toad and even himself, and thus everyone else was jumpy. The previous night they found some weapons in the basement, but desperation sank in as they realized that all they found was a bunch of super soakers and Nerf guns. For the first (or maybe, hundredth) time in the story, Glorb’s Desert Eagle didn’t work, which meant they were…stuck.

[Ultima Shadow]

Suddenly, an old lady walked up to them. The Knights stepped backwards, weary and weak.

"Knights... one of you is evil, and must be destroyed immediately. They will jeopardise your quest." she muttered.

"Isn't it Ultimate Shadow Lord?" Future Ultima Shadow asked.

"No... it is you." she muttered.

Suddenly, Future US screamed in fury, lashing out at the woman. He knocked her backwards, laughing.

"I'm evil in the future?" US muttered quietly.

"You're always the evil one," Hyrulian replied.

"No, I am!" Future Hyrulian cried.

"Who is evil here?" TBT yelled in confusion.

"Our future selves! They're evil!" Chef screamed.

They gasped as the Future Selves revived themselves, and as a figure came in through the window.

"And under my control," Puppernickel sneered.

"We'll never work for you!" Hyrulian shouted, outraged.

"You become zombies," Puppernickel roared, "and you obey me."

"When will this happen?" US mumbled in desperation.

"NOW!" bellowed Puppernickel.

A loud explosion followed, blindingly white and red-hot... screams were heard... then silence.

[Glorb]

Just then, Ultima Shadow woke up panting. "Wha...was it just a dream?" But then he looked up to see himself in a large laboratory. Pumpernickel answered his question. "No, it isn't! Now that I have you, I'll make you evil, using my Evil-Machine-Ray-O-Matic One Million!" He pulled a huge lever, and a ray hit Ultima Shadow just in time for him to yell "Nooooo!"
Just then, Glorb woke up panting. "What? Why was I having a dream about Ultima Shadow?" Then he looked down, and found out he WAS Ultima Shadow! "Nooooooo!" He burst through the front door of his solid-gold mansion, then stopped. Since when was Ultima Shadow this rich? though Glorb, a.k.a. Ultima Shadow, when his butler appeared. But the butler was Hitler! Like, Hutler, or Bitler, or something!
Just then, The Chef woke up panting. "Man, two dreams inside one dream? What a wierd dream!" But when he looked around, he saw he was on an airplane, along with the rest of the Knights. Hyrulian looked at him. "Oh, I see you're awake." The Chef was puzzled. "Where am I?" he asked. But one look out then window, and he saw that the Earth was in ruins! But since that was too much trouble to think about, he sat down as the airplane docked.
As the Knights exited, Pumpernickel appeared. The Blue Toad handed him a card. Pumpernickel looked back. "Come in. I'll tell you what this is all about. You can trust me." What was this? Had the Knights turned evil? Had Pumpernickel turned good? Why was the Earth destroyed? Find out soon!

[Glorb]

Yes, as it turned out, Pumpernickel HAD turned good! You see, during the 19 years The Chef was in a coma, the Knights had turned Pumpernickel into a kind, loving person, who later became president of MicroAppleSoftTendo. And Sega. As the Knights walked into his meeting room, he began his speech.
"Knights, the Earth has been taken over by the zombies, like in Day of the Dead. The only chance we have against them is to capture zombies and then train them to work for us so we can have these big, awesome zombie battles, with zombies fighting each other. And then we can have a zombie fighting a shark. That'd be, like, rad."

There was more than a short pause.

Hyrulian stood up. "That was your plan?" Pumpernickel looked surprised. "Well, um, yes. Yes it was." Hyrulian was, at this point, visibly angry. "You stupid idiot! We waited eighteen years just to hear you talking about zombies wars and sharks?! What'll we do now?"
A thought struck Glorb. "Hey, I know! What about that time machine you have lying in the corner?" he inquired, pointing to a time machine in the corner next to Pumpernickel, who glanced at it. "Oh, that thing? What about it?" Glorb then explained in interpretive dance that the Knights had to go back in time to the beginning of the story, when Mario and all the other people visited the cabin. That way, Pumpernickel could defeat his evil self and they could all live happily ever after.
And thus, the Knights embarked on a journey through time not unlike all the other journeys tthrough time...but this time, it was personal.

[Ultima Shadow]

They arrived in the past, only to find that Luigi had not come. Mario, Peach and Toad were sitting inside a cabin, doing nothing in particular. The Knights and Puppernickel looked at them.

"Hey, where's Luigi?" Ultima Shadow asked.

Suddenly, Mario, Peach and Toad began to cry.

"Luigi died!" Toad sobbed, and, suddenly, Ultima Shadow began to change shape!

"What's going on?" Hyrulian gasped.

"Since Luigi never existed... that may have affected Ultima's name change. I don't know what he is now..." TBT explained.

The transformation ended, and the Knights gasped.

"Who are you people?" the transformed Ultima Shadow muttered.

Instead of having dark sapphire armor, his armor was now a deep ruby, and was differently shaped.

"Ultima?" Glorb gasped.

"Who's Ultima?" the person asked, "my name is Insomnia Knuckles."

"Okay, this is getting weird," Glorb commented.

Suddenly, Toad began to fade! Eventually, he was entirely see-through.

"What's going on?" Puppernickel yelled in confusion.

They turned around, and saw that The Blue Toad was now The Purple Goomba. He looked totally different.

"Since Toad never existed, then The Blue Toad is different," Hyrulian explained.

Hyrulian and Glorb turned around, to see that Mario and Peach were now watching South Park. However, something was different.

"Is this before Chef left the show?" Glorb asked.

"Who's Chef?" Mario asked.

Hyrulian and Glrob turned around, only to see that The Chef had changed too- he was now The Cheat!

"That makes no sense!" Glorb bellowed.

"Well, we have to go and beat Puppernickel as soon as possible, before Led Zeppelin doesn't exist or something," Hyrulian said urgently.

"We'll go as well," The Cheat told them.

"Sorry, but you need to stay here and guard Mario and Peach," Glorb mumbled. "something isn't right here."

At that, Puppernickel, Glorb and Hyrulian left, leaving a very confused Insomnia Knuckles, The Purple Goomba and The Cheat behind (as well as Mario and Peach, who were watching Sonic X).

[Kojinka]

But then Deezer became a zombie, and started feeding zombie bread to everyone!

[The Chef]

(Try to keep the story coherent, please.)

So Puppernickel, Glorb and Hyrulean had to go back even further in time to prevent Luigi from dying so that US, TC and TBT wouldn't transform. Then they'd have to defeat Puppernickel's past self so that the future of Earth would be at peace.

"Geez, this time-travel stuff is confusing", said Puppernickel.

[SushieBoy]

After all the time travel, the knights landed on some wierd suburb. "so this is where Luigi dies?" glorb asked.

"guess so"  hyrulean answered.

After some walking around, the group saw Luigi walking accross the other side of the street!

"I'm-a-ready for the cabin trip!" Luigi said hapily, but little did he know, that he was about to die.

"There he is!!" Pupperknickel Exclaimed.

"Great, now let's move in!" glorb repiled.

Luigi was walking under a tree, with a large strawberry growing off of it, it was ready to be plucked.

"Look out!!" Hyrulean yelled.

"whaa??" Luigi turned around, the cherry fell off!

"NOOO!!" Glorb screamed at the top of his lungs, and jumped into the air, slow motion had begun, he successfuly pushed Luigi out of the way, but the Strawberry fell on glorb's head!

The others ran towards dead glorb, Luigi thanked then for saving his life.

"Well, we saved luigi but glorb is dead!" Hyrulean said.

"Bahh, close enough" Puppernickle replied.

The two moved on.

[The Blue Toad]

Glorb sat upon a ruby pillow that rested in a chair.  The great seat was made of pure gold and encrusted with glittering crystal.  It appeared proud; a seat for a king.  It was located atop a floor of creamy, white clouds, stirring slightly, but not disturbing the great throne.  Glorb sat in this chair, though, contrasting with its glory, looking bored; brow furrowed and chin rested on his hand. 
"The ratings on Glorb's Heaven went down long ago, people... why do I always die?" he asked himself.   

[The Chef]

So Puppernickel and Hyrulean went back to the future to find Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad all having a good time at the cabin. The Chef, Ultima Shadow and The Blue Toad were back to their normal selves.

"Where's Glorb?" asked US.

"He sacrificed himself to save Luigi" said Hyrulean.

"Why, Glorb!? WHY!!?" cried The Chef.

"Guess we'll have to host an honourable funeral for him sometime" said US.

"But he died in the past" said TBT.

"Well, I have to get back to my time-period" said Puppernickel, "If you see my past self, destroy him. It's the only way the future will be safe."

"But won't you dissapear from existance?" asked TC.

"Sometimes you have to make that sacrifice" said Puppernickel, "Just look what Glorb did for Luigi."

"I understand" said The Chef.

"Goodbye Puppernickel" said Hyrulean, "You've been a good friend."

So Puppernickel returned to the future, only to have his evil past self soon to be destroyed by The Five Minus One Knights.

[Glorb]

Just then, in heaven, the alarm was raised. Glorb snapped to consciousness as an angel-looking guy ran up to him. “Glorb, hurry! It’s the red alert!” Glorb tried to raise one eyebrow, except he wasn’t very good at it, so both his eyebrows ended up being raised, which made him looked surprised (he was, it’s just that that wasn’t the look he was going for). “Red alert? What does that – oof!” Suddenly, he was clad in battle armor and holding a large battle axe/minigun/shield. “Ah! Now what?” exclaimed Glorb, though the “what” was muffled by an enormous explosion behind him. Turning around, Glorb saw Pumpkin-Nickel the Great!
One of the angels flew up next to Glorb and explained everything. It turns out that, in 2007, while Pumpernickel was driving to a strip club, his tricycle was hit by a pumpkin that flew out of nowhere. Because of this, he vowed to turn good, but had a strange obsession with pumpkins. Eventually, he made a pumpkin-powered time machine that allowed the Knights to destroy his evil past self, ridding the world of his past evilness but killing him in the process. However, prior to that day he had made a pumpkin-powered robot suit.
Just as his evil self was destroyed in the past, Evil Pumpernickel downloaded his evil brain onto a disk sent it forward in time, where it inserted itself into the PumpkinSuit, creating the most evil thing of all: Pumpkin-Nickel the Great!

[The Blue Toad]

"I'm sorry - what?  I didn't catch that," asked a sincere-appearing blonde lady sitting upon a sapphire throne. 
"Er..." spoke a lad dressed in a salmon-colored tunic, a blue fish printed upon its chest.  "Pumpkins.  He controls... pumpkins..."
Queen Sapphira raised a single eyebrow, quite capable of doing so unlike a certain Glorb.  She reamined still, her stone-like eyes staring into her servant's with slight unbelief.
"Pumpernickel-"
"Pumpkin... nickel... your majesty."
"Right, Pumpkin-nickel has the power of a fruit?"
"Uhh.... wait-?"
"Yeah, Sushie Boy, a pumpkin is a fruit."
"Yes, then," he replied with a smile, his confusion wiped away.
"Gah, that Pumpernickel... he has threatened my kingdom for too long!  Where are those Five Knights?!"
"Well, I'm not really sure where they are, as they apparently pop from one place to the next, though I know that Glorb died."
"Again?"
"Yeah."
"Very well, that's fine.  Just - get our troops ready.  We shall not let the Knights fight this battle alone!" 
"Very good, your majesty, right away!-"
"Ahem," spoke a groggly voice from the shadows of Sapphira's throne room.  The agile queen quickly stood with a fright, taking her tall, blue staff (which held a thick drop of black hair strands, covered in a colorful glop of painty substance, at the top so that it resembled a giant, royal paintbrush) and held it with caution.
"Lower your weapon of art, Sapphira," the voice said.  "It is only I."
Out from the shadow hopped a giant frog,  Luepoftior!  The evil toad!